Yo China!

Well, back in India after a whirl wind trip to China and what can I say except that China took my breadth away! Yes, I got swept away by the commies (literally too, on Tian'nmen square, but that's another story altogether). China is vulgarly showing off. From the moment you enter the international terminal of the beijing airport (a yummy looking building by Norman foster) to the ride through the streets, and the awesome thorough fares that beijing's roads are, its plain - the commies ARE showing off

Beijing International Airport - Its effin' Huge!

I'll write in detail about my trip but here's a quick list on what makes china fabulous and why it may also suck sometimes..

Why China is Faaaabulous!

1. The Food! - ok if you're the typical indian who likes getting assaulted by Indian spices then subtle chinese cuisine is not for you, but if you're not, its effing heavenly. I was quite surprised by the variety in their vegetarian food. Trust me folks, this is one country that takes its beans seriously! I've never seen beans being manipulated like these guys do. The taste is subtle, sweet & sourish, crunchy and fresh but NEVER spicy. Thats why its awesome. It never assaults your taste buds. It grows on you with every bite

That's a Fish with its mouth open

More exotic food pics

And oh we had the Peking Duck too, which the locals were very Meh about. We went to a place that was famous for its roast duck and it was soo famous that it had 2 menus!! yes you heard me TWO menus. One for the average crowd and one for the high rollers. I swear its all true. The menus were very corporate brochure type-y and had elaborate images and description. The duck dinner was a 24 course meal! by the end of the 12th course, there even was an effing mid-meal dessert! who's heard of a mid meal dessert. Anyway the food kept coming on a revolving table and I kept sampling everything that came my way in a touristy fashion that clearly amused my hosts.


2. Shopping! - This place has the ability to bring out the maniac in you. Yes you'll be surprised by how easily you part with your yuans because everything is so fucking cheeeeaaap. Soo cheap, that you want to cry that you don't live here or didn't bring a bigger suitcase or don't have a bigger budget or combinations of the the above three. The standard price for evrything is 100 yuan..that about 500 bucks. That will get you a fabulous fake Dolce & Gabana bag, 2 fabulous leather boots, A hot looking Jacket and 2 4 GB pen drives. Almost makes me want to emigrate!


But shopping here is almost like a torrid love affair. You've gotta bargain like crazy and stick to your ground no matter what. The thumb rule I discovered, was 10% of the quoted price - thats generally the OK price. So first they tell you the ridiculous, gargantuan price thats when you gotta put on a zen like face and put forward 10% of the said price (All thru calculator ofcourse). Then their faces bulge out like a fish and they say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. They then reduce the price by half. but you still have stick to your price. More cajoling and price dropping later, you have to act like you've had enough and pretend to walk out in a huff and thats when they pull you back in and literally hold on to you and assault you. But you still have to be tough and stick to 10%. After all the drama both parties agree to the 10% price, after which everyone agrees that Indians are really good bargainers


Yes its high drama and almost feels like sex, only instead of "Yes! Yes! Yes!" you're saying "100!, 100!,100!"


3. The Heritage - Beijing has the most amazingingly preserved heritage structures. The Forbidden city, Summer Palace and Temple of heaven are breadth taking. Lessons to all indians - no mutilation of any building anywhere. I guess in china they shoot such people


Why China Sucksss

1. No English - Oh yeah, that can screw you up big time. I arrived in Beijing at 2 AM and the cab driver couldn't speak english and didn't know my hotel. Luckily I had with me a woman from WHO who was used such language barriers and put on an expert "Stupid Foreigner Face" that the cop directing traffic at the airport helped us out. All in sign language


2. No sense of service - these guys can also be extremely rude and sadly, do not have a sense of service. Methinks that its more like crude than rude but that attitude is not going to win hearts. My hotel dudes turned out to be cheeky and gave a room far below the standard of what I was paying for. Its only after I complained and showed them their own brochure they upgraded me. It seems like an isolated incident, but most people dealing with tourists like Shopkeepers, peddlers, taxi drivers etc were unusually rude


3. No sense of fun : You know sometimes you get the "Jolly Feeling" from a country...like these blokes are ok? You don't get that in china. People are serious bordering on grumpy and it feels like everyone is wearing the nation's pride on their sleeve when they are interacting with you and not like an individual. Its hard to explain, but it feels like nationality is driving a wedge between two individuals. that is truly sad

But still got some awesome memories - My first authentic chinese meal by the temple of heaven, listening to a chinese opera on the great wall of china (Bank of china - the chinese big kahuna bank was having its annual get together on the great wall and they had the entire shindig - a ensemble orchestra and an opera singer), Shopping at Yashov shopping market, handing out an indian 10 ruppee note to a shop vendor as a trade off, eating sweet spicy apricots, getting swept of the pavement by a marching cadre of the Red army at the Tian'nenmen Square and ofcourse fake Gucci Bag Sellers :)

Much Excitement is happenning

Oh yes, yes

I've got to be brief because we're writing this from the departure louge of the brand new Mumbai International Airport. Oh yes that's excitement number one.

We're travelling to china people!! to Beijing! Imagine that. Imagine the possibilities of me blogging about the commies. Yes I'll try to provided I can wade the language barrier, which, I got a taste of, when trying to confirm my hotel reservation. I'm still not sure what they have booked me as. Yes I have a complicated now but is that complicated? so the 5 people who read my blog, please check out my travel blog..err...I think it is... Called Garam Chai

Excitement # 2 came in the form of coming fourth in the Brand Equity Quiz- Pune round and in the process getting guess what? A DIAMOND RING!!! yes and its doesn't even fit!! My first ring and it comes from a quiz, not that I'm complaining, but it sounds soo geeky...

Excitement #3 - getting stuck in the lift for 45 mins. I always wanted it to happen to me. Its such a creepy and weird thing. Well this one was ok. I was stuck inside with another guy. Luckily his cell phone had signal so he called his friend and the whole security jing bang came to rescue us. I felt like I was in my favourite movie - Speed. You know - the opening scene where Keanu Reeves save all those people from a Lift. Its like my all time favourite scene ever. Sadly no keanu reeves tho'

Ok gotta rush people, take care and look out for tales from the People's Republic. And no, I'm not taking my "Save Tibet" T-shirt.

Still Rolling

I know what you're thinking...hoping..rather, that this time "Rolling" refers to marijuana and rolling joints and not about that house hunting shit that I was talking about..but..sorry..no, we will go back and dissect that topic even more because guess what? there have been fresh developments. Yes, I have shifted houses AGAIN and now I'm a World Champion House Shifter and boy, can I pack, I can soo pack that I think I should make it a full time occupation.

Turns out that the only thing worse than a single woman house hunting in pune is TWO women house hunting together in pune. This time it’s not the society that is to blame, although it continues to be predictable and be horrendously evil, this time its US - us women. I teamed up with a good friend to go house hunting inspite of already having moved recently because she - the good friend, wanted to move out from her PG and I was feeling all chuffed that I was finally goin to have a cool roomate. I always wanted to have that fantasy roomate. You know where the roomate is this boho-chic, extroverted type, where she'd take the nerd me to all the cool parties- yes THAT roomate. Although this chick wasn't thaat boho and stuff, I was still excited about getting a roomate.

So anyway, we house hunted together and we found a really good deal where the house was all furnished, and for the rent that was being asked, it was as good as MTV CRIBS. So we both were really excited and right when we were about to sign the lease at the broker's, she backed out because, hear this, her "Parents did not want her to move out". This was really it and long story short, I exploded, she exploded, and obviously the friendship exploded and in this combustible mess, I had an epiphany. Actually two. First, most women, if competing for the same prize, HATE each other and second, most women, are actually very weak decision makers.

I’ll explain epiphany two before I lose my last remaining girl friend. I’m not sure if it’s the result of upbringing or self-confidence, but most women I know run all their decisions by their parents. I’ve never seen guys do such a thing but this aspect troubles me. If women can’t decide for themselves how they should live, how they should spend their money, where they should study, what company to work for, no wonder their parents are also decide who their husbands should be. I believe parents are the root cause for this. They bring their girls up on such a tight leash that the girls themselves are unable to take a firm decision without the approval of their parents, in turn feeding the insecurity of the parents with regards to their kids. I think a strong able parent would be one who lets his girl go, one who gives her enough independence to confidently make her own decisions.

Epiphany one is no brainer really. All women HATE each other period. If they are the best of friends today, come tomorrow and they both are competing for the same thing, all bets are off. But then all women tend to take things personally and really can’t look at a situation objectively. Not like men, who can cuss the hell out of each other and can still have a friendly banter on Tendulkar’s batting a moment later. Women hold deadly grudges. I know that because I had a major blow up with almost every woman I know here and it’s true! we all can be quite the bitches.

And suddenly I’m having epiphany three. No wonder I studied Mechanical engineering, where I was pretty much the only girl in the class, No wonder I like working with men more than I do with women, no wonder my closest friends are men, its not other women, its Men! I expect these women to act like men, be independent and fierce like men and it is unfair, given how women are brought up in this country, but I just wish my tribe would be more confident and sure of itself and that sometimes, it's OK to act like men

Life, Randomness and Horrific A-HA moments

Question: Does it mean that you love your work when you feel guilty about blogging when you're absolutely bored by..er..work?
So...this utterly random day has been puntuated by certain horrific A-HA moments. Horrific
A-HA means stuff that I should have known but was stoopid enough not have figured out sooner. Thats why the horrific part. but this one takes the cake:

Did you know that you can actually convert the case of all the letters in MSWord WITHOUT TYPING THEM OVER? Did you? I just learnt that. All my life I've been cursing MicroSoft for not having such an option, turn out they do. Bastards. Now they make me feel stoopid

There were other comp related stuff - like how to turn an awesomely massive Hi-resolution file into a oh-so-easily-emailable low resolution file, Also and my favourite, how to go directly to your desktop at the click of a button..ah..lot of geeky stuff, that I was clearly too cool for in college.

Where we are that proverbial rolling stone that gathers no moss

...except for the fact that I don't want to be that proverbial rolling stone. I like my roots just fine, but this dratted world just won't let me have any and instead I find myself writing this in a new house and not in that not-so-perfect apartment that I lived in. Which obviously means that this post will be all about spewing venom on house hunting and what a bitch that can be. Lets begin shall we?

The danger to the world isn't terror groups or virulent diseases, it seems, the danger to society is infact the single woman. The reason I was getting evicted in the first place was that I was living alone. My insidious landlord had the nerve to tell me that even though I could pay the increased rent, I had to evict as she wanted a "Family". That word has been my bane throughout the process. Landlords, are perfectly normally people, till I tell them that "its just me". Then their eyes bulge out, they swallow a dozen times and ask me how I'm going to the pay the rent "all by myself". At this point I've heard this refrain so many times that I want to blurt out "By pimping myself mother fucker" but no we can't, we are desperate. Thats when it seems cruel. Cruel how single independant woman are treated.

We work as hard as anybody else but its so unfair sometimes. If you're a woman and your single, the society we live in feels so bloody threatened by it. they want to marry you off, they want to pair you with somebody and if they can't, they want you to just disappear. Nobody asks a guy when he plans to get married even if hes on the wrong side of 35 but for a woman and if shes 25, she over the hill. Its business of the society, it seems to police the single woman - to monitor what shes doing, who she goes out with, who are friends her and oh on the business of friends all the landlords made it perfectly clear that boys were not allowed. Nada. no way. I want to know if bachelors face the same ordeal? Do people tell them that they can't have girl friends over? or is it assumed that boys have raging hormones anyway and they can't control them, its the women who are susceptible and ergo by this insane logic they should be policed.

WTF!!

Kill me. Kill me right now

Ok. Its not been a good 2008 so far. I hate January. Its the meanest month of the year. Its like the Monday of the year. You have to be good again, get ready to go through the routine all over again. Can't we forward to september please, with all the fabulous discounts and all?

The last few days of 2007 were very good though. I was in bangalore and I managed to to do a lot of fun things. I met up with old friends and ofcoursed gorged on marvellous food. I indulged in those cheese balls at LOR. I do that EVERY time I visit B'lore. I also got some Japanese food this time, by dragging 2 hapless friends from school to Harima and as one of them was vegetarian, I got cursed till 2070. Ok I'll shrivel up but I had the most amazing Ice tea at Citrus. Its seriously the best the Ice tea ever!!

Ok, so bangalore was very good and sadly one had to return to pune (Bengalooooru why did I ever leave youuuuu ) and as if to rub salt into injury, my geyser blew. It happens apparently. and to compensate for the lack of hot water for my daily ablutions, I turned to my trusted electric kettle, where, painstakingly we got to about half the bucket when that too, believe it or not..BLEW!

WTF!!!

so not a right start right? going without bathing? but we have learnt to be quite resourceful, living here in pune. So rightly assuming that if I turned any more electric thingummy jig on, I'd blow up the whole apartment, I decided to shower in the gym instead. Yes, every morning for the last few days. So it was 20 mins gym and 40 mins blissful shower and I even started reaching work well in time. I almost did not want to fix this situation, given that matters of hygiene were now pushing my weight loss movement. But I had to and my electrician (who is now on my speed dial, replacing family) fixed it and charged me a bomb.

This is what I hate. Being dependant on somebody and then have them rip you off 'cause you are helpless and desperate. I know now why women marry. Not because they're in love or want to have babies, but because they need a man to deal with all the riff-raff, to fix things when they blow up, to sort that leaking tap out and ofcourse to open hard-to-open jars.

I have a bottle of Apple - Cinnamon jam that I CANNOT open. I have tried everything - teeth, knife, teeth again, candle flame...but it just refuses to budge.

I'm thinking now, that I single handedly moved shop from bangalore to pune, I wrangled with the best of brokers and managed to remain sane and got a decent house (not so sure now though with all the elctricals and all), I even fought and got DSL connection for my entire building, I fight with wretched auto drivers everyday but I can't, I can't for the life of me open a Jam bottle.

Will someone end my misery by driving a stake through me? Please?

where we take a break from what is a decidedly dull day at work

and oh I forgot to mention, the boss is also out so yay!

Its december and its time to appreciate the lazy sun methinks. Its true enough for me atleast. I'm a sun child and if anybody is a fan of the sun, its me but ever since I started working, I've never had the time to look at up at the clear blue sky and appreciate the warmth on the skin..till its december. I think I know why. By this time, I'm exhausted, I'm running out of steam, I've taken the hint, I'm done trying and that's when I have the time to look up at that fatheaded sun and wonder about all the glorious days I've missed inorder to keep up with the rat race

December is also my favourite month because for me its the month for "giving up". Yes we are in loser mode today but hey its december, and I have January to be the "employee of the month". December for me has always been the month to wrap up things, a kind of emotional expiry date where I just have to get somethings done- like finish certain books I've promised myself to get done with. But the big problem with december is that it runs out very fast. its like the year too can't wait to run out and its followed by fat old January where you have stand upright again, be infallible and make lofty promises of redemption to yourself.

Well believe it or not, I intended this to be funny. Oh well, I guess it all stems from being incredibly tired and exhausted. Its hard fending for yourself. The dark side of living on your own I guess. Its fun but it has also been tough dealing with not having anybody to depend on anybody but yourself. Like for instance the other day when I was incredibly sick and the fuse blew. That was it really, I was ready to crumble and go back home. But no I couldn't. I had to go out into the chilly night and find an electrician and get the job done. Oh dad, I miss you so much!
The breakdown of the machinery is so hard to deal with. You are juggling so many things and when one of them goes kaput it all crashes down.But all said and done it has been incredibly fun - discovering a new state, a new bunch of people whose language I barely understand, even though I do feel like an ATM machine all the time (You wont believe the amount of bills I have to pay!).

Its been a good year too, I feel like I've been more adventurous and I've definitely gotten a fair bit reading done, so all hum.

I hope everyone out there has a great year ahead and Happy festivus everybody!

What's up with the world?

Seriously...

What do you expect when you order Juice? Fruit in liquid form right? Liquid being the operative word here? but noooooo. That's not how it translates when you order Watermelon juice apparently. I got chunks of watermelon in my "juice" tonight. Who invented this stuff? who was this being over smart and thus being very stoopid. And who, pray tell, likes chunks in their supposed "juice" when factually its not even juice - the way GOD INTENDED IT TO BE, YOU FOOLS!

and thus she ranted

It first happened to me in Bangalore, the shanti sagar in forum to be precise. I innocuously ordered their watermelon juice. Not making much of it, because technically technically ordering a juice is not supposed to jolt you out of your senses. But not so with the accursed watermelon it seems. I got something that was in between pulp and juice. and then as if to add a dash of mockery the guy slipped in a spoon instead of a straw!.

Spoon! Spoon! are we eating our juice these days? are we? are we??? (*makes hyper ventilating noise*)

Not one to take such things lying down, I go, "ahem...I ordered for water melon juice, there are pieces in my juice, can you please put it in the mixer again please?". To which, the guy at the counter gave me this "are you toying with me lady? cause I've had a reaal busy day" look. I was told that that was the way they served their water melon "juice" and that I'd just have to lump it (pun. heh)

As that was too much for my assaulted senses, I told him in my no-nonsense-will-punch-if-it-comes-to-it voice that I don't want chunks in my juice. So guess what he did? he simply removed all the pieces, took the spoon back and gave the now much reduced in quantity juice. Yes and I didn't even get a straw.

Today, it happened again. In another city. I shudder to think if this is an epidemic. But this time I lumped it (Note to self - definitely over doing the pun thing) and ate the juice. yes you heard it. ATE it

What's happening to world. What kind of a society do we live in? am I going to see noodles in fried rice now?

And thats not her only pet peeve right now

Damn straight. I have been going to gym for the past 5 days, working out for 2 hours, sweating it out and what do I have to show for it? a grand weight loss of 500 grams!

Things just suck. oh sorry, no they don't, you're supposed to lump it with a spoon. bah!

Maaja Macho

I'm liking this maharashtra place. September to December seems like one big party and by party I mean huge makeshift pandals, loud muisc from cheap speakers and ofcourse season's discounts. Yes the latter is often a source for cheap thrills these days. Like when I found out that the Ras malais had been discounted due to navratra.

This place has been really weird for me because back home I've never seen festivities being taken really seriously. by anyone. All it meant was - it's a holiday and you don't have to work. Here it is different. festivities mean a great deal (I mean traffic Jam causing big deal) to the people here. The mood is cheerful and lithe and already people seem to have given up on reforming themselves. In bangalore I've seen this "Oh Screw it" thingie kick in only in december. I dunno why but for the past couple of years I've felt really immune to these sort of things, like I've grown up and become too old to be excited for these things. But here it's different but I guess it's the thrill of being in a new place.

Well anyway, the main point of this post was to announce to all about my first ever Danndiya do. ok that sounded like a song. But it was fun. So much that I wished I had some serious Gujrati lineage. Why don't we south indians do such things. Nine days of dancing? what could be more fun? Like all festive things Navratri is also big deal here. I'll tell you how much.Listen to this, they blocked an entire road, A gujrathi band set up their ensemble (most noticeably of which was a huge loud speaker) and then all the residents from all the colonies came out and did the daandiya- right in the middle of the road. It's like how they say in fairy tales, "then they all danced merrily", yes, only this one was real and in the middle of the road.

But coming back to my daandiya sojourn, like I said it was most fun. It was fun get all dressed up and doing the daandiya steps, which isn't all that tough btw. And oh, must mention that I got my daandiya sticks all thanks to MacDonalds. MacDs had this thing where every combo came with a pair of daandiya sticks. Needless to say that the combos were flying thick and fast here. That was another of my season's special cheap thrills.

Another reason to celebrate in october was my b'day. I turned 24 in a city other than bangalore for the first time there were 5 new friends at the dinner table. they threw me a surprise party and smeared cake on my face. so all very nice.

The True Indian Idol

It's hard not be affected by the current festive season when you're in a place like pune. Maharashtra loves, nay LOVES lord Ganesha. That's truth apparent, going by the numerous pandals in this place, infact the street I live on has 6 big pandals. All this is new to me and I look upon with wondrous eyes, as in the place from where I come from, Ganesh Chaturthi begins and ends on the same day.Indeed the other day, when somebody was talking about the traffic jams caused by "Visarjans" I was like, "Oh C'mon, you've only got to bear it for a day" (*make a sound here for getting a fact soo wrong*)

No, here in pune, Ganesh Chaturthi is the baap of all festivals (That's me trying to be local, in days to come, I promise to infuse my "writings" with the local flavour). I don't know how the system works but everyone who is anyone puts up a pandal. Infact the biggest pandal on my street is sponsored by a political party and there's even a booming audio that lists all the top brass of the party, Lord Ganesh too is mentioned somewhere and after that, the whole thing flashes with 70's disco lighting, that, oddly reminded me of Mithun Chakravarthy numbers. Then Ofcourse there is the Music. If you are not belting out the latest dance number, you are not a true pandal it seems. Yeah there are the devotional songs and stuff but one seriously needs good music to work the crowds. I swear, I heard a pandal playing Kevin Little's "Turn me on" and this song has lyrics that go - "And then she said to me Boy just push that thing Push it harder back on me" - makes you wonder no??


But really its all nice. Festive season always makes me happy. There are bright lights everywhere, good discount in stores, people too are generally happier and less snarly and overall the mood is generally cheerful. Infact, the mood it seems has even crept into your ATMs. Yes, I kid you not, my atm had a full fledged pandal thing going - sans the music and the lighting ofcourse (see below). Get cash, do puja, get out.

I do love the times we live in. Its sooo much more amusing.


P.S: The photo above was clicked by my friend sim who was slightly amused that I'd want to put it on my blog.

And they say this blog is "Self Obsessed"

I'll try for this not to be a rant. I said "t-r-y"

But what is it with the world and my name?? Everytime I tell anybody my name they look at me with utter befuddlement, with a look that says "Are you serious??". If I'm on the phone and I tell my name, there's this obvious pregnant pause at the other end and I know that the person is taking time to process the whole name, as if I'd said something like "Anastasia Chavetdatze".

I've had it with this behaviour. The other day I was on the phone with a vendor and I told her my name and she was like "Really? what does it mean?". That's another thing, the pregnant pause is always followed by the meaning of my name. I've not heard anybody asking anybody else for the meaning of their names. I don't ask anybody for the meaning of their names, but nooooo, when its me, they all want to know what it means and then there's the third step in "the Philosophy of my name" - The contradicting of the meaning. Its not hope but Doubt.

There was this incident (actually there are serveral, but we'll run with this as example) where my teacher and mam argued about my name, when dear old mam had come in to collect the report card. It wasn't pretty.

T: About your daughter's name, Its wrong, how can you call her doubt?
Mam (quite coldly): Its not doubt, its Hope
T: Ofcourse not, its mean doubt, there's no doubt about it hahahahahha
Mam (now positively glowering): I think as mother, I know better
T: Its still not too late to change her name. You could perhaps change it to "Akanksha" Thats not too bad.
Mam: Its still not too late to change your name either

Yeah, Go Mam!!! but I knew I wasn't gonna top the class anytime too soon.

Sigh, there are times I've wished my mother had given me a no brainer bollywood-esque name like Tania or riya. Has anybody asked a Tania what her name means? ofcourse not, it means shit and everyone knows it. I've gone to mam and complained about it and she feels kinda guilty too. She collects evidence of my name and scours the internet for my rare namesakes. There was this incident at frankfurt airport, where upon telling my name, the guy I was a making random conversation with said "oh! doesn't it mean hope?", I could have jumped over the table and kissed him for saying that. Suddenly, my existence was legitemized. I felt normal. and when I told mam about it, she wanted to kiss him too.

What snapped within me was yesterday. 4 complete strangers, at pragati maidan, spoilt delhi brats all, laughing upon hearing my name and making fun of it infront of me. Them being spoilt brats was incidental. It was everybody. Teachers, Classmates, Peers, Bosses, colleauges, everybody has done it. Made fun of it. Purposely made a mess of prouncing it wrong.They don't know that by doing it, by questioning my name, they are not only mocking mocking me but also mocking the two people who gave me the name and its just not done.

So, Fuck you all. There I've said it. FUCK YOU. If you think you know better

Yay Me!!!

Well six months ago I did something unfathomable. well unfathomable to most people who do not know me. I moved to another city, to live by myself, to be independant, to fry my own bacon as it were (ok that sounded corny) and here I am six months hence, in an apartment of my own, in a city thats less alien and more friendly, my own TV, my own bloody land line even, did I say I'm sooo proud of me?

When I first moved, everybody, asked me if I was crazy to move. I mean even people in poona asked me why I did it. Well the truth be told, i don't know why. Its something that I felt ought to be done. To challenge myself. to see if I could do it. It's hard to explain and most often I end up shrugging my shoulders and looking like an idiot, but I'm glad I did it. With minimum meltdowns too. 2 to be exact but thats a decent figure methinks.

there are the highs. Oh my god the highs. Its hard to describe but even little things like instant coffee can give you joy when the universe seems against you. there are so many frustrating moments and even more frustrating people to deal with and then something comes along that makes it all easy, like a sweep of a magic wand.I mean I could almost make love to the guy who invented instant coffee. especially Bru cappucino. Hindustan Lever. I soooo love you dudes. Open packet, hot water and voila, cinnamon cappucino. who da thunk? now if only someone came up with instant tea, my life will be complete.

Then there are the tiny victories. the little come uppances that make you feel like a diva with her own entourage of backups. There was this one time where I was faced with boiling water in my bathroom because the bathroom was the only place in the house that had a 15 A plug. I didn't know that it was a 15 A plug that I needed. So I went to an electric store and asked for a "big" plug and they all snickered there. They almost sold me a 300 ruppee extension cable set but you know what, I was sure that there would be a 5 A to 15A plug, and there was! and it costs only 30 bucks!!. Now my electric kettle sings happily in the kitchen.

Did I tell you about my broadband story. This story is soo hugee, it deserves a paragraph to itself. Ok first some background - I had a lousy wireless connection that was painfully slow and I almost never got the signal. I mean I used to walk around the house with the laptop on my head looking for a spot with strong signal. Since obviously thats just too much effort to get on to the internet, I decided to go in for a broadband connection. The only hitch was that the society that I lived in did not allow broadband connection on the premises. I called every broadband vendor and everytime I told my society name, they would all refuse flatly. So I went to reason with the society president, but he just refused to give permission. His reasoning - All the wires would make the premises messy. So did I take it lying down? Did I start to look for another house in another more frendly society? Ofcourse not. What I want, I always get. So I approached the society president, this time armed with the most potent of all weapons : emotional blackmail.

I told the guy my parents lived in australia and that I had to talk to them everyday since I was a girl alone in this bad bad city, I needed the broadband and before I knew it huge sobs were pouring down my face. "As if this life wasn't tough, you want to make it more tough?" I asked in between sobs. Well anyway tears do work cause I got the broadband permission after that! That victory was soo sweet, the "whos your daddy bitches!!" moment, ahh simply priceless. And thanks to me 6 houses in my building also got broadband connection. Airtel so owes me!!

So, inshallah, its been a fun 6 months. I've made friends and proved to myself that I can make friends when I want to. The life that I've built in the last 6 months is expressly my doing and that, is the sweetest of all victories.

Damn those cravings!

I miss..

> The Cheese bites at Legends of Rock. oh those lovely gooey fatty things that explode with so much cheesy goodness. They are pretty much the only reason I go to LoR. Not the music, not the drinks, not the ambience but just them, Cheese bites. Yes, initially my diet conscious being restrained me from sampling this very un-epicurean delight, but once I had eaten one of these erm bites, dripping over in mayonnaise, all diets were toshed. The sad thing has been that the last time I was in bangalore LoR was out of cheese bites. Never did the 23 year old me most want to throw a 3 year old's tantrum. This time when I come visiting, if they don't have it, I'll bloody blow up the place.

> Chicken wings at millers 46. do you know heaven orders chicken wings from millers 46? Many of my fondest memories have involved talking to friends and contentedly tucking in chicken wings at M46. I miss the place. The wings are glazed in a sweet but peppery sauce and after you'd eaten about 6 of them, steam would be popping out your ears, the tongue would be on fire and the lips would have swollen,bee-stung like. The waiters knew me well. they even knew my house well, cause I'd order so many times. I wish they'd deliver here.

>Biryani at Ebony's. Ebony is my place. yes it is. people may say whatever they want but its so my place. I'm in my element there, with the sight of bangalore to behold, good food, and getting tipsy and giggly with a drink. I have eaten biryani in the best of places at hyderabad, but I still haven't experienced anything like the biryani at Ebony. Every time I see the waiter bring our dum pukht biryani, I start salivating like pavlov's dog. I love the spicy raita that they serve it with. it adds a certain zing to the biryani, so much so that your palate is a state of flutter. ooh just love it.

>Lunch Meal at Krishna Kafe. KK is this authentic tam bram place in koramangala that was a short walk from my previous work place. We used to go there for lunch, especially on Friday's because the heavy lunch is a perfect excuse not to work therafter. The lunch was served on a banana leaf and was a typical south indian affair with rice, applam, sambhar, rasam, 3 different types of curries. Every time I have gorged on steaming rice dripping in sambhar, I know i have a fat pot bellied tam bram priest inside me. The highlight was ofcourse the "unlimitededness" of the entire meal. Unlimited everything - rice, sambhar, curry and offcourse applams. KK brings back fond memories of this road trip my family went on when I was 10 I think, through Tamil Nadu. Every restaurant/Tiffin room had this "Unlimited" largesse concept. For the price of one you could eat for ten people. I haven't seen it emulated anywhere.I sorely miss my Rice-rasam- sambhar here. I'm in roti hell folks!!!

> Set dosa at shanti Sagar. My parents have this wonderful habit of ordering Dosa and idlee from Shanti sagar on sunday mornings. That would be the only day mom wouldn't make breakfast. I was always deputed to go get the breakfast and it would always be 3 set dosa and 10 idless. I loved my set dosa. I miss it.no thats MISS it. Dosa and saagu palya used to be my sunday morning heaven, together with fresh tea and the sunday times. I also used to have a cup of coffee whist at shanti sagar, waiting for my parcel. There is no coffee like south indian coffee. Nothing. I'll contest anyone to a spelling duel if they think otherwise

> Cornerhouse!!!. I don't have to be descriptive here do I? I miss the banana split, the cake fudge, the ice cream overdose, the whole of your ice cream immersed in nuts. you know they don't do that anywhere. It's a special place people. Please preserve it.

>Bangalore!!!. words can't say how much... sigh

I'll have what she's having

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head

And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed

Nothin' seems to fit

Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

B J Thomas.
He sang this song you know...its featured in the movie Butch cassidy and the Sundance kid.
If I remember correctly, I think Paul newman sings this song in the movie.
On a cycle.
I love Paul Newman.
No Thats LOVE Paul Newman.
He was soooo incredibly hot in his *ahem* younger days.
Have you seen cat on a hot tin roof?
There's this scene where elizabeth taylor is changing her stockings
A young ravishing elizabeth taylor changing her stockings.
Can you imagine that? nothing could have been more sexier and this guy just watches her disdainfully with a glass of whisky in his hand.
I was so floored by that scene
Who was this man who could look disdainfully at elizabeth taylor? a young, ravishing elizabeth taylor.
I saw Paul Newman's house when I was in New York.
It was on the uptown loop and I was sitting on the upper deck and the guide went "Oh btw thats paul Newman's house"
I took a photograph but it came out blurred.
I love New York.
I love the upper east side.
But unfortunately it also reminds me of Meg Ryan,whom I hate.
Nay, detest.
I detest her guiless, girl needs help smile.
I hated her in that cheesy You've got mail.
Yes, that bookshop too was pointed out in the uptown loop.
I hated her in Sleepless in seattle, which unfortunately ends in (you guessed it right) in New York.
Not in seattle like the title promises.
When I saw the empire state building, what came to me was Sleepless in seattle and the whole "Affair to remember" ding.
and then there was Harry Met Sally.
I know what you are thinking.
Sigh! I could do with one right now

Romancing tennis are we?

Sigh! another French Open has passed by. French open is a sign. Its a sign that half the year has gone by. That summer is over. That the earth is no longer parched. Its time for green fecundity. For wimbledon. for my 24th birthday. time to get seriously wiser

I like the French Open. Its my 2nd favourite open after wimbledon. I like the glamour of paris, the chanel suits, the snooty noses and ofcourse the slide type tennis. My first ever tennis memory was of Seles winning the French Open. My dad really liked her. I loved her. she was my tennis idol and as my bro loved Steffi Graf, we were bitter rivals. I hated graf back then, and any encounter between the two of them turned in to a heated (sometimes abusive) battle at home. Remember the Graf-Seles French Open Final, that Seles won 10-8 (in think) in the final? oh that was glorious. But sadly that rivalry came to an end thanks to a deranged graf fan. I hated graf all the more. Damn tennis was a saga back then.

Ofcourse after the french open came wimbledon and somehow it seemed so right.. to move from the starved clay to green luscious grass. I love it when its wimbledon. In the past, school would have begun by then. It was new class, freshly bound notebooks with that virgin notebook smell, neat first page handwriting, new uniforms and then on coming home there would be wimbledon on DD with some BBC guy giving some stolid commentary. The world felt so right then.

I've sat up late into the night to see some awesome tennis with my dad and bro and those are some of my most cherished memories. I remember becker's last wimbledon match against sampras. I remember watching McEnroe in his twilight years and every time he'd get disgusted, someone in the crowd would hold up a poster that said , "You Can't Be Serious!!". oooh remember goran invanisevic? I remember him in his first wimbledon final aginst agassi which he lost and that was particularly painful because I loved him in my 9 year old heart and then came his redemption in 2001 where he beat Pat rafter. I seriously wept that day, seeing him win, seeing some one get what they most covet. And then there was that Graf -novotna final. It's still so vivid for me. Novotna leading in the final set, a break ahead and I was doing a jig around my brother. No effing way Graf was going to win and then good old DD dramatically lost tranmission. I was so confident that graf was going to lose and when DD finally got live feed, Graf was ahead and was serving for the match!!!. It's still the biggest WHAT DA...moment of my life. oh I loved DD's coverage of wimbledon. It was so quaint, I still prefer it over any of your star sports-ESPN jazzy digital coverage.

And then in this season of tennis there would be tennis fantasies. Yes, that I was world number one champion tennis player that had never EVER lost. In fact I had even achieved a double golden slam, I was that dominant. In my dreams I was a legend. I used to even sign on magazine covers with a felt pen and that would really annoy mom. I loved my interviews, which I gave in the bathroom to an imaginary interviewer. I was so awesome, modest and humble and oh so poised...

And watching Federer lose to Nadal this sunday, I felt that I lost a special moment. of missing being part of history. But still, there'll always be more tennis. Here's to more special moments.

Now Fed go get that wimbledon now!

Not quite according to script

Why is it that weekends that you look forward to always pass by rapidly? I mean before you know it, it’s gone. You wait for it. Wait the agonizing wait. You plan every detail in the back of your mind, till it’s practically a full length picture and then before you can say “Cut”. Its over. O-V-E-R

See I had planned this weekend trip over a month back, to be back in the city of my being, to be with my love, to be there on my folks’ birthday, to watch aerosmith and now, here I am on Wednesday in poona, thinking, now what do I do with my life??

Here’s how it panned out.

The Surprise (or so she thought)

I didn’t tell my parents that I was coming down for the weekend. I wanted to surprise them. To see the thrill in their eyes or so the movie went in my head. God, I was so chuffed that I was doing this. So I called them at 12 in the night, right outside the gate and Dad picks up the phone

Me: HI DAD (Excited and Giggly)

Dad: Huh who? (Obviously sleepy and not happy about being woken up)

Me: It’s me dad, Guess where I am? (still excited tho not quite giggly)

Dad: Why what happened? Why are you calling at this hour? What’s wrong? What? What? (Obviously not happy at all)

Me: Nothing dad. I’m right outside the Gate. Surprise!! (Doubts creeping upon on this whole surprise thing)

Dad: Surprise?? You call this surprise? You scared the hell out of me (Yes definitely not a good idea)

Yes, the surprise didn’t stick to the script and I entered the house quite meekly with my folks quite annoyed. Don't you wish sometimes that life imitated art and that you had background music for moments in your life.

The Haircut

They say choosing a hair dresser is as important as choosing a spouse. Actually I just made that up. But I truly believed that I had found my soul mate hair dresser. I’ve been going to that salon for about 4 years now and every cut I’ve had has made jump with I-can’t-believe-I-look-so good-joy. So with unshakeable faith in their abilities, I said simply, “Cut it short. Shoulder length. What ever looks good”. Lesson – Don’t EVER say What ever looks good. That phrase is haircut hara-kiri, because as any sensible person will tell you, beauty is subjective.

So she said ok, I’ll cut it in layers. The term “layers” has always turned out okay so I simply shrugged with my “you are the professional” confidence. That’s mistake number 2. Nobody is a professional. Long story short. Horrible hair cut with the one thing I detest the most and that’s a fringe. Who likes fringes? And why are they back in town? And she had the audacity to tell me that fringes look good on me.

The sad thing about haircuts is that there is no Consumer court type remedy. You’re stuck with it. DB my girl pal, said that it looked “Decent” and boy was more gracious and said that it looked “Nice” and this when I had gorgeous long tresses that I could toss haughtily. Pride comes before a bad haircut

The Concert

You know a concert is big when even your scientist mom asks “Who is this aerosmith? I want to see him”. My prev concert was the Roger waters concert and that was fun although we were way back and I couldn’t quite make him out from that distance. This time I was determined to get as close as possible, even if it meant climbing over people. We made it to the front row, although boy, who had smoked a doobie and was very happy with his stoned self, was reluctant to go there. I looked at him in disbelief, doobie or no doobie, we were going to go as close as it would take to see the motifs on Steven Tyler’s pants.

The concert rocked although, they didn’t quite sing the popular songs. Either that or I'm a non-fan. Seriously there were just 4-5 songs that I could sing too. I was disappointed that they didn’t sing “crazy” and it was hell crowded. But like I told bro later, atleast I gotta see Steven Tyler before he popped. Sigh I wish Pearl Jam would come to India now. Eddie, I turn my lonely eyes on you.

The Birthdays

My folks have their B’days on consecutive days which is very good thing because one can finish the gift shopping in one shot and also everyone is nice to one another for 2 consecutive days.

This time the celebration was rather low key. I guess it’s because all their peers were retiring and the whole mood was rather somber. My dad picked on the youth of this country and I was shown as a classic example of the decadence of this generation. Atleast I’m an example of something. Better to be an example of nothing than not being an example at all I say.

That’s my minutes of this weekend that has flown by. A weekend I rather enjoyed, despite the events. Now what do I do with my life?

I'm 23 years old, TV is my life.

(5 points if you can tell me where I filched that line from)

Okay last night the Heroes episode (Chapter 17: Company Man) was so gripping that I almost choked on my food. Which set me thinking...who will come to my rescue if do indeed choke on my food??

I think this thought came to my mind because of another TV show - 30 rock, which btw, is a really smart Tv Show. Alec Baldwin is really good as a my-employees-hate-me kinda VP of NBC. Did you know that "30 Rock" is short for "30 Rockefellar Plaza" and that the NBC studio is actually situated in 30 Rockefellar Plaza? I walked past this building when I was in New York last winter. I love that phrase, "When i was in New York", makes me sound nostalgic, boho, cool and utterly straight haired.

yeah so back to why TV is my saviour. I must tell you how I got the Tv in the first place. My nutty broker, who is also my land lord, brought this unknown mallu couple home, and asked if they could take the Kitchen rack (left by the previous tenent). I don't cook at all so I just shrugged and then she goes, "You know..they're looking to sell their TV too" and before I knew it, I was calling the local cable operator at 11pm and asking them to "Come fix the cable right now!!" and you know what? they did!!. God bless the cable guys of this world. ever willing and able, they really do understand the trappings of a true TV junkie. And thats how I got in synch with the world again. I found I could keep up with conversations again, which was a relief because, I nearly freaked out when even mom started to talk about Sanjaya Malakar's exit. Avril lavigne's "So whatever?" or shakira & beyonce's "Beautiful liar"- No problem, Now I too can have an opinion on that.

Another thing that’s totally giving me a kick is my remote. No that’s MY REMOTE. Mine. mine. only mine. All my life, I’ve been amidst remote snatchers – Anna and dad. Anna didn’t let me watch a Paul Newman (Oh, I also saw Paul Newman’s house “when I was in New York”) movie once and in that moment, I vowed to get my own TV when I made enough money. What is it about guys and remotes? Its like they’re marking territory or something. Me have remote, Me Man arrgh!. So now, I can watch Prison break (God that scofield dude is so hot!) or heroes or the apprentice or frazier or friends without anyone changing the channels midway.

Yeah, so life’s good. Hey wait a minute, isn’t that the tagline for a TV brand?

Cheerful day it isn't

Well my phone just fell from a 30ft drop. It survived but its not catching the network and the camera is kaput too. Don't ask me how it happened. Crazy, odd, freak, one-in-a-zillion incident, and it can only happen to me and then My laptop touch pad konked on me.

Bombs are exploding every minute at work , its world war 3

Yes, Karma is not in a good mood.

bling bang

So I was watching American Idol the other night (Subtle way of saying, I have TVeeeeeeee, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ) and it was "Idol gives back" night. The same old story - white dudes go to Africa, are appalled by the impoverished/hungry/sick people there, come back, make a nice montage of it, with keane music as background, show it to other white dudes, who for some reason are absolutely shocked by it all, like its all news to them, then they all sing (or sway to) "Heal the world, make it a better place", give money, shed some tears and will go back home to their f****ed up white ways.

No asks why Ayf-Freeka (you gotta say it like they do Man! and notice how its not country specific, like kenya, zambia etc, its Ayf-Freeka, one big bloody convenient bracket), a region that has abundant mineral wealth (and by minerals we are talking gold, diamonds, platinum, iron, all the things thats "Hot" right now) is so freaking poor. Someone obviously has been filching all of that, ain't it? Somebody has been taking all of that and in return, has been supplying weapons, backing military dictators, engineering civil wars and ignoring genocides

You want to do something for Ayf-Freeka? Oust people like Mugabe, get rid of the government in Sudan, do something about the Darfur situation, but no its "Heal the world" on a crappy singing contest.

Grow Up!

Arms raised in a V

Updates.

Have quit my old job. Yes the one that made stay till 2 am a while back. The best thing about quitting jobs is the interim break. Being “temporarily unemployed”, there’s nothing sweeter than that. It’s a beautiful lazy state of being with the comfort of knowing that soon you’ll be in a brand new office, meeting brand new people and getting f****d in brand new ways. Its Joy.

So what did I do you ask? Well slept for most part of it. Got up at noon on most days. Since I’m into Heroes these days, got the complete DVD set. You know everytime I start explaining what Heroes is all about, I sound like an idiot. “Er, a bunch of people start developing extraordinary powers due to genetic mutation”. But honestly its such a clever TV show.

As my new job is in pune , the “moving out” needed to be planned. Parents had to be comforted. The Closet had to emptied and clothes scrutinized. It’s a futile exercise if you ask me. The realization would always be that one does not have enough Clothes. Which ofcourse lead to SHOPPING. Not just clothes –shoes shopping but fancy adult stuff like Luggage, kitchen stuff, electronic yada yada.

I also got a nice back massage at spa.ce, this new spa place at cunningham road. Oh that felt heavenly. And when it was over I was sad. I was leaving Bangalore just when I had found a neat spa place.

Then there was the matter of the farewell party. Which I organized and planned. At opus. Because I have bastard male friends who turn up 1 hour late. Opus has “Kroak Knights” Karaoke and I wanted all of them kroak me a tearful farewell song, but as luck would have it, it was Booze-n-brains night instead. It couldn’t have been more appropriate. The legendary tonic team meets up for dinner and the restaurant conducts a quiz. I beginning to believe we are destined to quiz. Well the pitch was if we won the booze-n-brains quiz, all the booze at the table would be on the house. So obviously Nag, Gowday and Jalan were excited. And I just wanted to win. Alcohol doesn’t excite much since a certain fateful office party a year back, were I got pretty drunk and got f****d in office later. Ok coming back to the exciting prospect of free booze. Team tonic with Gowday in tow did fairly well in every round. We were coming in second for most parts because the team that was coming first was googling their way through. That was allowed btw. And the beer was flowing at our table in anticipation of a victory. We were still second when it was time for the last question. We trailed the first team by 3 points and the last question was worth 5 points if we got it right. It was do or die, and I really wanted to “do” rather then face a gargantuan Alcohol bill. And buggers we got that question right. We won!!! We got booze worth 2.5 K free. And I didn’t have any of it. After we won, I wanted to have some celebratory beer but the bar was conveniently closed by that time!

Shucks is right but pretty good times :)

Hilarious!

and that's all I have to say about that.

erm actually, as I'm not given to tacit inclinations, I'll elaborate. Very few times have I come across a movie where you instantly connect with all the characters in the movie. And its so freaking funny!

enough said. Go watch

Finally the New York Story Part 1 - Not quite soft landing.

See many of you didn't know there was a new york story to begin with, but this has to be put down for posterity, for memories of those 72 hours are beginning to fade.

See lil ol 23 yr old me visited the united states in october for work and I managed to sneak in some time at New York, thanks to two amazing people, Vaishnavi and Harish. They were awesome enough to have me in their comfy home for about 3 days. Thanks to them I left NY with some amazing memories. Big sloppy kiss to both you!. I love you guys!

Erm, ok now lets start at the very beginning, that's the moment I landed at JFK airport on a flight filled with restless hasidic jews. enough said I think. Then came immigration, where the officer says "You're 23? you look like you're 18". Little did I know that that was going to be the slogan of this trip.

Hokay after that, I learnt my first big lesson, in the US they charge you for your luggage trolley. I mean which Industrialized nation does that? I mentioned that only because, if they hadn't charged for luggage trolleys, I wouldn't have given the er luggage trolley dude 100 dollars instead of 10. That was going to be the theme of this trip - How a supposed 23 yr old who looks like an 18 year old waif loses money in USA.

Remember we are already 100 dollars down (I didn't know it at that time though). now comes the episode of the cab driver. Cab drivers anywhere are bastards. nothing less. oh but Indian Cab drivers, they make your average bastardy cab driver seem like god's little cherubs. So whilst I was at my supposed -23-but-decidely-18 -waify best, this desi dude walks up to me and says "do you need help?". Lesson to everybody out there. If you see a desi who's not family or friend in a foreign country airport, just run.

I said I needed a cab, and desi dude (DD) proceeded to help me out and pulled up in a large shiny SUV. I knew I was in trouble right there. I said no SUV, me want a big yellow taxi, the type that you see in the apprentice, but he conned me in to believing that yellow taxis do not ply into Manhattan. The bastard. And this after I have watched every episode of third watch! Anyway long story short, cab ride was very expensive. More like 130 dollars expensive.

Yes 2 hours in NY and I was already at -230 and this when the budget was 300. Gulp indeed!

What do you do when you find yourself at work at 2am?

well you develop this urge to blog after a gap of zillion years, apparently. My defence for that appalling sentence is that its 2 am and I'm still at work.

Hear! Hear!

I have this book by Nick Hornby, Its called 31 Songs. Its about about 31 songs that he loves and why he loves them. When I bought this book I was excited has hell because this book has generally got good reviews and I've read some excerpts of Hornby's other book, Long way down and it was rather funny. But I couldn't get past the 1st page of 31 songs. Not because it wasn't well written, but because I couldn't relate to it. I couldn't relate to all the songs he talks about because I haven't heard any and its difficult to trawl through all that enthusiasm when you have no clue as to what he's talking about. Ok may be its just me because lots of people seemed to have loved that book.

anyhoo 31 songs gave me an Idea, I shall write about my some of fav songs and why I love them and bore everyone. Well on the bright side I'm sure most people wouldn't have heard some of the songs mentioned and mebbe my exhortions will make you want to listen to them (which I suspect what hornby was aiming at too, albeit through a book deal). Without further ado, here goes:

Cello Song - Nick Drake
I got introduced to Nick Drake by someone whom I had a beeeeg crush on and women who'll empathise will agree that your crush's recommendations pretty much become gospel truth. Cello Song was the first song of Nick Drake's that I heard and I was BLOWN by it. and I mean absolutely, spine tingly, goose bumpy BLOWN. Cello Song begins with the strumming of the Cello and then slowly the entire songs builds up and in the middle of it all Nick Drake's voice steps in and at that moment you want to die and beamed straight to heaven, because you feel absolutely redeemed and live no more. All of Nick Drake's songs are laced with pathos, innocence and orchestral grandeur. Its a weird combination, but when you read the man's story and listen to his music, you know it is the way it is because his music was him. Nick Drake's music makes me cry, gives me hope, makes me childishly happy and I really miss that he's no more.

Bitter Sweet Symphony - The Verve
Everybody loves this song and I do too especially the amazing Violin Rif. Ok I'll come clean, I'm a sucker for String music, You will notice that most of my songs will feature strings instruments. I love the Violin and the Cello and No Intrument can convey emotions better than these two. Anyhoo back to bitter sweet...I love simply because it stirs soo much hope and defiance, and ofcourse Richard Ashcroft's brilliant voice makes the whole song soar. Bitter sweet is so special.. I remember way back in standard 12, One day when it was rather late in the evening, 8'o clock I think, I was riding back home and It started pouring. I stuck in a big traffic jam, I was drenched, I was in 12th standard doing science and I hated my life right then, absolutely hated it and I questioned the ineffable plan. Is this what's in store for me? and then right then bitter sweet wafted out of some car like a divine message and everything felt right again.

Ave Maria - Andrea Bocelli
This song is really special. the sort that highlights the real-best-friends-have-cosmic-connection thing. I first heard about Bocelli on Oprah and how she loved him yada yada and that very afternoon I go to my best bud, Alyesha's house to hang out and she goes, "there's this really great soprano... Andrea Bocelli.." . She gave me "Sacred Arias" for my birthday and till date its my favourite birthday gift. You have to,have to listen to Ave Maria, its in Italian and I really don't understand a thing but the music just tingles the skin, its divine.

Light my fire - The Doors.
The Doors were my initiation into college culture - Weird hairstyles, dope, che guevara affiliation and the whole "liberation" ding. Pink Floyd and the Doors represent college the best to me.Everybody either listened to Pink Floyd or the Doors or both and if you didn't listen to either, you were a loser. Having an older brother helped in this regard, and by the time I entered college, Floyd had put another brick in the wall a million times over. The Doors were a different story. My brother gave the best of doors CD as a B'day present in my first year and I fell right in love with Jim Morrison. I mean he had all the right mix, Sexy, Impulsive, brooding - resistance was futile. C'mon baby light my fire is an out an out mating call, no song I 've heard is as sexy as this. This one calls out to the primal self. It also reminds me of pecos and halcyon days of afternoon spent tucking in Tacos and listening to awesome music. aah that was life!

Last Goodbye - Jeff Buckley
This one features in the OST of Vanilla Sky and this one I love because this one song on a relationship over, that you can actually turn up the volume to. The lyrics are sad but its got so much electric guitars and such a rock feel to it that far from weeping with a box of tissues you actually want to keep jumping on a springy couch. Sadly though Jeff Buckley died in 1997 in a drowning accident. Gosh why did all these guys who made such good music die so early?

I think the Vanilla Sky OST has one of the best compilation of indie songs. Cameron Crowe is a genius and I read somewhere that he personally picks all the songs for his movies, I'm not sure how true that is but get the Vanilla Sky OST right now!

hmmm I just realized I could go on with this, lotsa songs with lotsa memories attached to them. One of my fav ads right now is the world space ad where A R Rehman says "There's so much to hear".
Amen to that!

May the best (looking) team win

Anna called the other day. "Why are'nt you watching the world cup?" he asked.

Wait a minute, I'm no chronic world cup watcher, the scenario as it panned out in our growing years was that He controlled the sole TV in our house and well I was bullied into watching many world cup matches.

I remember my first world cup memory. It was the 1990 final, Italy Vs Germany and the germans won. I slept through most of it and got up only when the german captain was raising the world cup. That dude was cute and as with most cute guys you have to know his name. Knowing Lothar Matheus's name helped many years later in a quiz. It was a visual of him, our team had to identify him and all the other boys were openly salivating for the question to be passed on to them. Oh they were so shocked "the girls" knew his name. that was such a sweet moment.

That's the thing with women. Most women don't follow sport, but they do (with religious fervour) follow cute guys in sports.

So well, I remember the 1994 final as well. What happened was that just before the final our TV conked and we (actually my Dad and brother) shamelessly asked our neighbours if we could watch the final on their TV. I believe we asked to borrow but the neighbours only came as far as letting us into their home and watching it there. Poor things. They weren't football fans, I know because they were nodding off now and then. I bet they stayed awake only because they half thought we'd cart their TV off. The Final was boring. I slept off half way and asked my dad to wake me up when some one scored. Dad woke me up for the shoot-out. I was so mesmerized with Baggio's pony tail. The world was divided into men with ordinary hair and men with pony tail for the 10 year old me. He looked so sexy and with that pony tail looked capable of extraordinar powers. He botched it up and I've never quite recovered that faith I had off pony tailed men after that episode.

1998 was good. I saw a lot of league matches because I stayed up late solving Maths problems for the 10th boards, while also watching cute athletic guys push the ball around. I found it most therepeutic. I also did very well in the maths exam. You have no Idea how sexy Zizou was for me. I feel in love with this tiny patch of white hair on his mostly brown (?) hair and oooh he won and it was doubly sexy.

Italy always sports the sexiest side in every World Cup and as a girl you always want Italy to come to the final. What happened in 2002 was just plain cruel, a totally out and out ugly, wiry haired bozo called Ahn jung Hwan threw them out of the tourment and denied glorious eye candy to women the world over.

I never liked Brazil much. Too much hype and really ugly footballers. I mean when you look at Ronaldo and Ronaldinho with their bad teeth, you feel glad that they atleast have talent backing them up.

I haven't seen most of the teams but the Argentinians are really looking hot and they're playing some good football too, but honestly as long as there's good eye candy, I don't really care who wins the world cup.

May the best looking team win right? ;)
lol

Goo-Goos, Ga-Gas and Giggles

Every woman should have a lil something of Chanel or so Karl Lagerfeldt would have us believe. well dear Karl will be pleased with me, I have ze number one perfume of them all, (ironically) the No.5. Ok Brother gave it as birthday present, but still, I belong to that exclusive clique of women who have a lil something of Chanel, ok now Karl where is my discount??

Whenever I see a picture of Coco Chanel, I don't see a woman, I see an androgynous creature, with ambitions of power, a strong dash of selfishness, individuality and a mild veneer of sexuality. That's what I like about her, atleast what she represents, the toning down of gender and the steretypes associated with it. Like say Woman=Married= Mother = Babies. I see Coco and its like erm lets change that equation.

I have a special gift. I'm a magnet for bawling babies. When I sit for lunch, there's a bawling baby. When I'm seeing a movie there's a bawling baby. Infact my lowest moment came when I was on a train and guess what there was a Bawling baby and the mother was walking around the compartment with it. She sat down on my seat, trying to console it and the sleep deprived annoyed me, just absolutely glowered at her, to take "that thing" away fro me. I remember that Incident, I'm not proud of it, but given the chance my reaction will be the same all over again.

I don't like babies.
Some women Coo at babies, some women make funny annoying and utterly embarassing noises, Some women do a lil jig, I just stare right back. Wotcher looking at baby?. I often wonder why I feel so different. No gushes just ahems. and ofcourse faking the affection. I hate proud- baby- flashing mommies. They're the worst. they want the whole world to acknowledge how cute their baby is and if you stare back without gushing, she'll give you a look that says "Baby hater!, you'll end up an old crone".

I just want to know if women have babies because:
a) They really like babies
b) They don't want to grow old in loneliness. Babies are like old age policy, Someone who'll take care of the bills
c) They didn't use protection and things just happened.

Am I the only one who does not like babies. Who feels queasy that its probbably expected of me because I'm a woman blah blah. Who feels weird because she feels differently about it and also slightly guilty?

Hmmm. I don't know.

I guess its Chanel for sometime now. Seriously Karl, how about that discount?

....and tiny tim on the Double Bass

You need a muse. and you get one only if you're life has a slight tinge of misery in it. Its true. I couldn't think of anything to write in this blog of mine because I didn't feel like it. Now since my life has got that mild hue of angst, ok I admit angst is so 2nd-year- college, I shall proceed to soliloquise.

These days I lunch alone at Transit at Forum Mall. If any of you read this and are at transit at the same time I'm having lunch and know me....ok what're the chances of that happening? still do drop by and say Hi and I'll condescend to say Hi back if my mouth isn't full. But I kinda like having my lunch alone there, Watching the dizzying consumers, the yuppies with their Lap top bags, college kids bunking class, the occassional white guy.....ok I don't mean to sound all gooey... this motley crowd fascinates me and I don't think for the entire duration of lunch. which is good. One should never think while having lunch.

Another great thing about having lunch at a mall is the moosic. absolutely upbeat and by the time I'm done with lunch and heading back to office, I feel like a heroine in an Chic flick strutting with a I-will survive background theme running in the background. I always loved that chic flicks. The heroine moves on with her life and she even has sexy background music to boot. who chose her freaking music collection?

Ok I saw the entire sex and the city season 3 this weekend. and you know what, for a columnist Carrie wears pretty swell clothes and she even has a sexy apartment to boot. My favourite is the one where she gets to be a model and struts for this sexy 80's kinda music. I always wanted to do that. Strut for sexy music not modelling. Also the whole we 4 best friends ding is a turn off after a while. I don't have girlfriends, not here in Bangalore, and I miss that terribly.

Most women don't like me that much. yes they're intimated by me and worst of all I don't care. So well there goes my hopes of a female posse, of sunday brunches, of talks of boyfriends and Exes.

Exes - you'd think nothing's worse than your Ex coming back and telling you he's found someone. I'll tell you what's worse, your Ex coming back and telling you he's found someone and also "getting some" from that some one. Erm. You've moved on, very much and yet the vision of his "someone" and him, leaves a void in the stomach and the thought of his "getting some" makes me want to join the gym. I dunno, but its proving a great motivator for getting back on the tread mill again

The great Guy in my life taught me how to drive in his very own car. Its his first car. The first car. He bought it with his own money. Its expensive and its big. I don't know how to drive, and yet he let me take the wheel, didn't freak out (atleast he didn't show it) and taught me how to drive. That's romantic.

I love big brother (orwell be damned)

Its been ages, and well I thought it was time to resuscitate this blog, sad because at one point i thought this blog would be my ticket to a book deal. well one can always dream

Ok, Back from the most amazing vacation so far. Australia turned out to be an experience. Amazing people from different nationalities, some really sane driving ( these folks will not switch lanes even if their life depended on it!!) two near death experiences in two themeparks in two days, some really neat desserts, a crazy dane and some good ol fashioned desi debates.

All Thanks to bro who arranged (and paid for) travel with in australia, the itinery included Sydney, Brisbane, Goldcoast, Canberra and Melbourne. We back packed in sydney and melbourne and squated in a friend's place in brisbane.

Thanks to all the people who made this trip memorable, especially ammu (can't believe we fought when we were classmates!)

Oh yes i'm absolutely broke, but as someone said "if you ain't savin it for having fun, what're you savin it for?" hear hear.

Free fall is accelerating

Ok so just ask me where I am.. Go on... Well I'm in Australiaaaaaa. Yup this is blogging direct from Australia but no i'm not here for good, this is a 2 week vacation also known as blowing up your savings. Its been an amzing ride so far. Literally. I step of sydney airport and bro says well Navigate using the street directory because I don't know the way. Well Like I do!!!. Well Yup yours truly navigated around Sydney using something I never thought existed - 400 page book of maps of all the streets in sydney. And I'm also experiencing the looks-good-on-TV Ian wright style backpacking. Gosh I'm sure I can even talk like him now...

Ok well well excited me, got back from 2 amazing theme parks in brisbane...and now I'm even a theme park chic as well. Too many avatars in such a few days.

More on things later

'Tis

Hell hath no fury like a pervert scorned.

......and some proper background music please

So there I was watching Rome on HBO. I totally dig Perod Dramas. And minutes after Rome Ended I was walking around Like I was in one. Easily done considering it was something past midnight. For one I felt all angular faced. Have you noticed how all these period drama protagonists are so angular faced, or rather act like their face is so angular. I want to walk around like that, with the knowledge that in a close -up still, the angles of the face will catch the light dramatically and it will look all fiery and purposeful. I mean even the extras in period drama have that intense purposeful look.

and oh, I'd like to walk with a flourish too. with swirling taffeta gowns going swish swish. oh so dramatique. Imagine how work would be if we were all so dramatique. Instead of jeans and feeling like a minion in the workforce, I'd feel all important and angular faced . I can't stress enough the change that feeling angular faced brings on one. I feel like making weighty statements or making the mundane sound weighty. I mean the chic in the Rome serial got all alarmed and panicky when someone said "caesar is in Italy!!".Won't it be cool, I wonder to make statements that give sinking feelings. I want to ask for tea like its a do or die situation. I feel like looking fiercely at everything, with that erm angular faced look

Ok I don't think anybody out there gets it.

Oh for some drama in my life.

Its a universe of levitating snow flakes y'all

The number of times I've had the word position thrown at me this week - not funny

1. Why is that fat paki skipper batting at that Position?

2. Insert the Ad in this Position

3. Its a Position I don't Envy

4. I wouldn't Like to be in his position

5. Position is everything in Business

6. If you don't Position yourself in the market, the Competition will position you

7. This is a prime positiom madam

umm ok, I'll stop but you all get the point don't you?. Its like everybody's favourite word is Position

State of the affairs - Sleep deprived- awaiting a quarterly review at work which certainly does not help and ofcourse stressed.

I can't watch the 11:30 Pm friends reruns these days, guess why? Because every one wants to see us triumph over fat buncha blokes in green. and ofcourse there's the matter of the bunch blokes in dark blue who are waiting in the offing. I'd buy my own T.V but i really I don't much fancy the idea of TV shopping.

hmmm, ok then, I'm off I don't like my disposition one bit

muahahhahahhah

Pronounce Reykjavik

I'm feeling like Danish last names. How cool is Ljungdahl? it reminds me of a scandinavian spa. Bjork reminds me a viking helmet or Vanderspeigle which really sounds like a bland grainy porridge kinda dish or Schoonhoven which ummm brings an imagery of shiny copper pots & pans in a kitchen with wooden rafters on the ceiling.

All this talk is making me hungry.

Sad sad Situation

She said, "You know what'll make me sad? If I ever make you angry, because you're the kinda guy that doesn't get angry"

Well he got angry and she got angry too. And no one was Sad.

Pardhe ke Peeche..

I can't get enough of this song from Bluff Master, well thats a lot considering I came to know of this movie just about a week back and I even asked, "well who's in it?", and I honestly hadn't heard of "Right here, Right now" till about 2 days back. Forget lagging behind the scene, the scene doesn't exist anymore, well anyways forget that, I mean this song makes me want to drop everything and break into a jig, like those background peeps and go "Pardhe ke peeche" along with the chorus.

What I can't get over with working life is the total tuning off from "Normal" life, I mean the "Normal" me would have been very worried about the Middle east peace process post sharon's stroke, the "Now" me goes, enough already, he hasn't died yet??. I don't read the paper anymore, I don't care if sourav's back in the team, and btw all I want to say about him is that he is a complete out and out BITCH, right, its like I no longer care about the world at large. It feels weird. another sad thing is that I don't get the time to read anymore. The last book I read was Tamarind Mem by anita rau badami and that was a total dud, anything new and exciting on scene people? tell me... keep me informed, I'd really like that. ditto with movies, although on that scene I got a lot of good movies with even a pedro movie, i'm so waiting for a weekend where I don't have any work load.

This week was comme si comme sa for me, I met my best buds in the world, arthi whos in mysore and alyesha whos in pittsburgh, and we all met and compared notes about boyfriends and stuff, went to mango, where they were having a sale and only I spent a tonne of money and got myself a pretty black skirt. Its got such a massive swish quotient I luuuuve it and I got a major discount on it double yayy!!

Is it any surprise that I'm not mulling over the middle east anymore?

All your base are belong to us

I want to write heaps, but this one finally did it, "what are you doing for New years", yes its the season where you have to have someone to be seen with or you might as well curl up and die!. I don't think I've been with anyone for any new years. Last year's took the cake. briefly, big south indian family gathering, cousin from berkely showing off his affiliation to the Berkely Bhangra club, and then the big south indian family gathering also vying for a spot in that bhangra club. that made my new year's resolution for this year - I need a Stiff drink!.

This year has seen numerous phases. I was in college till may, truly some halcion days. Parting with all my friends and with that insouciant life was truly painful. Even now I miss how we used to indulge in meaningless arguments while the sun shone fatheadedly. then came some does of real physical pain when I got operated upon for a ligament tear, I thought I'd never walk again. barely after I started walking, I found myself in hyderbad working For Google. working for the big G can only be described a FUN!. In Hyd I had my own bed, my own curtains, my own toilet with flower motif on all the tiles and my own geyser in my own toilet!. I'll never forget my apartment and my weird roomies. and then 6 weeks after I found myself back in bangalore, back in my parents place.

I still need a stiff drink.

Happy New Year All!

If only I don't Bend and break, I'll meet you on the other side....

Ummm, its been a looooooong time. thankfully my blog is forgiving, unlike most people I know, I even forgot my best bud's birthday. happy belated b'day best bud. oh I even forgot to commemorate my blog annniversary. happy belated b'day bloggie.

I have nothing significant to blog about. Well I do, but I can't really blog about it, and besides my life revolves around work these days. You I didn't even know Paris was burning, I don't have time to read Newspaper you see and besides I was quite shocked when I heard it. Paris always brings images of this 6 footer, anorexic blonde model with no boobs swishing about, amidst flash bulbs in a chanel skirt. Arsonists torching cars? umm no. Mebbe thats why it burned

anyhooo, the only exciting thing (that I can blog about, mark) of note is this grocery store outside office called Monday to Sunday. Now, normally I wouldn't be caught dead using words like Grocery. Enid Blyton made it her own and ran with it. Why are all Enid Blyton's Grocers such ruddy nice people, with nice warm smiles and who always gave bets/daisy/diana/anne a complimentary boiled sweet?. Even her thuggish grocers are squeaky clean. I mean her mean guys are the kinds who buster/timmy/scamper can shoo off with just a growl. Grocers really aren't that pleasant. I mean, you have some who whine when you don't have the exact change, they frown with displeasure when you've chosen something that does not have a bar code, like all of it is your fault.

Ok I majorly Digress. MtS rocks because they have this fabulous Alcohol section which has all the assorted breezers, a good wine collection and get this, even a baby smirnoff Vanilla twist. Jeez when I saw it, I almost ran to the counter to get it billed instantly. oooh another must buy is the Choco crunchers cereal!. Now when it comes to Cereal the world is divided into people who eat it with Hot milk and cold, and I alawys belonged to the former but after Choco Crunchers, I've converted. You have to have it with cold milk to know how good it tastes. Part of the reason for my ebullient reaction to this cereal is the minimum effort involved!

Ok I'll stop now. The product-whore signs off

The Picture of Doriana Gray

Most people drink or smoke to bust stress, I shop. one look at my bank statements (cool huh? bank statements and all, I sound so Important) confirms this. and some smarty pants suggested the other day that I apply for a credit card? eh?? I think I'll I end up on Oprah, teary eyed, confessing that I have a shopping mania, and you know what she'll say? "This is just a symptom, of a deep emotional issue", and I'll say "yeah my mom loved my brother more". ok we digress, but the problem I think is quite chronic, and particularly so when it involves Mango. I love their clothes, I can't help it. their clothes are exactly me!. quirky, girly, chic yada yada and gosh its gotten so bad, that they actually call me when they get new stuff, in a sugary "gotcha sucker" voice.

Well anyhow, my depleting bank bank account made me think about my shopping pattern, this is ofcourse after the initial horrified shriek. All my clothes are indicative of my state of being. and I wonder if its true of all people, their clothes representing who they are. that sounds rather shallow and what the high school clique would endorse, but I think there's some truth to it. I think when people buy clothes for themselves, it subconsciously translates itself into how they're feeling.

hmm so one of the truly awesome investments i made over the past week has been getting myself a world space connection. and for just 2000 bucks. Its a steal! and I love the jazz channel, its called Riff and its heavenly, and ooooh I got my very own remote! all my life, the men around me, my Dad and my bro, have been snatching the remote from my hand and lording over it. So apart from being a perfect lip-synching instrument, it will also be my redemption from those troubled memories of remote grabbing.

also made some investment for the home, read crockery. went to Jamal's to buy mum a neat non-stick frying pan. sort of a first salary gift thingie. I love Jamal's. Every time I pass that store, I'm planning my crockery, linen, curtains etc in my own house. And that thought always thrills me up. I got some chop sticks too and I think another shopping trip is in order to get me a good egg-beater, some mittens... sometimes I think I have all the trappings of that enid blyton cook who just made those kids fabulous scones and cakes all the time. I also need to buy dad something, but I can't think of what to buy him, i thought of Chivas regal, but umm does it look proper buying your dad alcohol? any suggestions anybody?. need help for this one!

Come on baby light my fire.....

arrite too late for a diwali related post, and I had such nice sentences running in my head.
I think I've out grown Diwali. seriously. these days its not so much about lights, festivity as is about Corporate Kaju Katli Give aways and bumper draws promising Cars at the clothing store. Please tell me if anyone actually wins those "Bumper Draws"??? Anyone you know? Please because I've filled 5 billion of those and I've never won anything.

But the vanishing of the Diwali charm (And I think that sentence was wrongly framed, but its 1 AM and I'm still at work, so spare me!) is what's making me a tad sad. I remember what diwali meant to us as kids. Preperations would begin about a week before the grand 3 days, and that would be heralded by mum preparing the batter for real crispy chakulees. Another thing that symbolized the official onset of Diwali was the building of the family Khandeel. Nobody here makes it, but in bombay its really popular. Khandeel is a sort of lantern and some of my fondest memories are of Dad building the Khandeel, with Coloured paper and gum spread astray on the dinning table. Can you imagine glitter strwn all over the solemn Dinning table?. And then we'd get our boxes of crackers. Our Dad always got my brother and I identical boxes of crackers, and then I would ceremoniously hand-over bombs and other despicably loud crackers to my bro, while I held on to other sissy stuff, like Flower pots. I liked flower pots. They came alive with a whoosh and then they burned out and didn't split anybody's Ear drums.

We had to have a piece de resistance too, something that'd make the neighbours look up in stifled awe and envy. We had to. and when you're 12 and competing with the neighbour hood apartment kids, with apartment Diwali budgets, Its absolutely Important. Ours was called the "Shree harikota". It spun like mad in the sky and then burst into a shower. Too wowowow for words. One year we experimented with this thing called "Rainbow" basically 7 multi hued projectiles hurled into the air, but unfortunately, Rainbow became parallel to the ground, while hurling these aforementioned projectiles, and Babli the neighbour's labrador never quite forgave us for the trauma so inflicted.

Diwali also brings back memories of my petrified dogs. Have you ever held a Dog during Diwali. Nothing quite breaks one's heart as that. The heart beats like its going to explode any minute, The body shivers and yet in the eyes complete numbness. I hated having to feret out my dogs, hiding in a dark corner, from under the bed . I guess that marked arrival of anti- Diwali- anti- child labour- anti- air pollution phase. and also lets face it, some of us get tired with the scurrying-after-the-cracker-has-been-lit routine. I prefer watching all the fireworks in a worn out pajama on the terrace. its so much more fun.

This time round, the rockets have improved immensely, we didn't have such good stuff 6 years back sigh!. Well I guess its all for the best, Me being a mute spectator, besides I need to atone for what happened to babli, the neighbour's labrador.