Saturday, April 04, 2009

Do saal baad

I don't celebrate anniversaries in general. I do remember them but I'm generally very meh about such things. But in March this year, I completed 2 years in Pune and this made me reflect on the person that I'd become. I thought about the whimsical decision that I had made in March 2007, to move out of Bangalore - My Home, Cocoon and sanctuary - after 24 years to a place where I didn't know anyone. I went back to day I arrived in Pune for the first time. With my entire life contained 2 large bags, in a comfortable but alien company guesthouse house and contemplating the future. Would I like it Here? and what if this was a bad decision? what if I had to move back to Bangalore within a month with my tail and bag between my legs? I look back at that memory and think about all my experiences here and I'm happy I made that decision to live on my own. It has helped me grow in ways that I cannot begin to articulate. Suffice to say that the before and after is clearly distinguishable

I still remember the incident that made me take the radical step of moving out of Bangalore. it was the New York incident. I had just been duped by a NY cabbie of $160 for a 30 minute ride. I couldn't believe I was capable of being duped. I, who had topped Theory of Machines 2 in a class of 100 boys no less. I remember bawling on the streets of Manhattan afterwards in humiliation, anger and frustration. I remember roaming the streets with tears streaming down, fearful of everything and wondering how I'd gotten to be this wimp. After that I resolved to toughen up and get my edge back. When a job offer from Pune, I realized that this was it. This is what I needed to become a street smart, confident person and to grow from the over protected, insular, wimp that I'd become.

It was tough at first. I didn't understand the language or the culture. I remember sitting in meetings where all present spoke in Marathi and I, the one who was responsible for the action items, looked on like I was on the sets of Dumb and Dumber - with a very big EH? written on my face. I gradually learnt to understand the language and the people, to an extent now, where I actually feel quite at home here. I have learnt so much from this experience that I feel a need to articulate a few aspects that have changed in me.

It taught me to make friends. In Bangalore, I lived in my own little insular bubble, with my won little coterie of friends and we all lived happily. I didn't feel the need to connect with other people. When I came here, I had no choice but to connect and make friends fast. I learnt to reach out to people and open myself to them. I moved out of my intellectual circle and found other utterly interesting people who didn't read The Economist (Which in my earlier avataar was the prerequisite for any friendship with me). Thankfully My job in Pune required me to work with people at all levels - From the support staff in logistics to the top management. It required me to adapt to people at every level and I found myself loving every human interaction I was having. I can actually call myself an extrovert now. I appreciate people a lot more and I'm not an intellectual snob anymore and that's a good thing.

It taught me to fix things. Yes. I have become the champion fixer. I used to freak out earlier when appliances and stuff popped. Now, I have an air of nonchalance when things break down. I stop blaming the universe for this malfunction and get around to fixing things. The TV in our apartment conked recently and I would have FREAKED out earlier considering I'm the child of the networks. But I was so hum about the whole thing. I made a few calls. Found the TV repair guy. Carted the TV to him in a rickety auto. Got the thing fixed in 2 hours (attended gym in the interim) and carted it right back, to a point where the Roomate went "You Fixed it already?? wow!!". I'm so zen these days that I didn't even throw the remote on her face then for her sheer inability to be helpful around the house. My pre-2007 self would not have shunned violence. I'll tell you that. Violence brings me to my next point...

It has made me tough. I mean tough like a pit bull. Infact when I was negotiating with a vendor once, a business head asked me to join his sales group because he thought my aggressiveness would be useful in a sales role. All though I'm still not as street smart as I want to be I know that I'm not a wimp any more. I can fend for myself in any situation.

Most of all, this experience has helped me quell the fear of the unknown in me. I'm not afraid of chasing wild whims and fancies any more. I know I have it in me to face any situation that life puts me in and I may not come out obviously triumphant, in a blaze of glory but I do know that I will have the courage to face it. For that alone, Thank You Pune