What I Learned in B-school

I was talking to a friend of mine, who is just about to enter B-school and I was dishing out advice by the droves. Then it hit me. Such gold quality insight needs to be documented not only to act as a symbolic ode to the entire experience but to also serve as a cautionary tale. Really, take your pick, what ever floats your boat.

What does a transformational experience consist of? Is this what Dickens was referring to when he said that it was the best of times and the worst of times? Can you distill the essence of a gigantic shift in perception and put it in bullet point format? After all, isn't the bullet point format one of the biggest learnings in B-school?

Be warned though, this post is not your back-of-the-proverbial-envelope-ROI-analysis on B-school, this post is reflection on how I acquired some life-changing skills in B-school, the enduration of mind numbing academic jargon and how I lived to tell the tale. Here it goes in bullet point format (obviously!):

What I learned in B-school

1. The importance of Night Mode setting of my camera, heck any camera settings at all:

For you see its impossible to go through B-school without documenting it on FB and adding pictures for proof. That's the first thing you learn - the night mode settings of your camera- at the first B-school party. Next you learn how to pose for said pictures. Honestly, I've learned my "photogenic" angles and the right amount of teeth that one should ideally show. I was actually camera shy before I came to B-school and now I've become extremely comfortable posing for pics. This is has undoubtedly enriched my future facebook pictures and how could anyone put a price on that?

2. The importance of beer pong, flipcup and *insert any drinking game here*:

Not having done undergrad here in the US I wanted an opportunity to get a sneak peek through my B-school experience. What they didn't tell me was B-school was undergrad times 2 if you wanted it to be. Thanks to this second coming, I learned beer pong and flip cup and tons of other drinking games. Now, I have a genuine drinking game mishap story that makes me a legit grad student and gives me a sort of "street cred" that is very important in connecting with other grad students. booyeah!

3. The importance of being a .ppt or .xlsm ninja:

I have learned that with the right presentation or excel skills, you can go from Captain Obvious to Captain Genius! I kid you NOT. I have sat through numerous presentations where the facts were plain as daylight but because of the wizardry of the presentation or excel sheet, got transformed into "critical insight." I even gave one such presentation a standing ovation myself. How can one NOT be swayed by flying boxes and arrows or pastel coloured, harmony inducing pie-charts?? you have to be positively soulless for that!

4. The importance of having a .ppt or.xlsm ninja in your team if you are not one yourself:

You have no idea what a boon it is to have a .ppt or .xlsm ninja in your team do you? Not only does it mean better grades, it also means that you don't have to spend arduous hours trying to come with half decent slides or models and honestly, deep down you know the team is going to end up using the ninja's slides or models anyway! what you do learn however is to play to to your

strengths. While you're effusive in your praise for your teammate's skills and encourage him to spend the night finishing that ppt or assignment, you can get back to honing your own skills in playing angry birds. Hey man, if that's not a simulation of a life and death situation, I don't know what is!

5. The importance of NOT having a .ppt or .xlsm ninja in your team if you are not one yourself:

This ofcourse means that you are terribly F@&*ed. The meetings are long and contentious,

everybody thinks they are the expert, the white board is filled with drawings and bullet points and you're no closer to the answer than when you started 13 hours ago. The worst is when teams with ninjas, walk by your team room and tell you that they finished the meeting for the case in 60 secs. The best thing to do if you're ever in such a situation, is to have a big list of funny youtube videos to cut the tension. Atleast your team will call you a "fascilitator" or "harmonizer" and let you off the hook when it its time to grade each other.

6. The importance of prayer when you're getting assigned to teams:

See bullets 4 & 5 to fully comprehend this point and yes, while praying, specifically ask for .ppt or .xlsm ninja. I'm serious!

7. The importance of following American sports:

I cannot stress this enough! This will come back to you when you're in that dreaded circle, surrounding a recruiter, trying desperately to land a job. When everyone is talking NFL or college basketball stats, you looking clueless and feeling like you landed in the planet of "What the hell are they talking about??" will NOT help you get a job. You should do what I did and get an american classmate to explain the rules of football (not soccer), basketball or even lacrosse. And then when everybody is talking about Tom Brady, you will not get the urge to ask "Who is this Tom Brady guy? is he a sports dude or something?"

8. The importance of "Depends..":

Yes, "depends.." gets a lot of flack and a lot of b-school students themselves deride this term but for me there is no greater colloquial term that celebrates the state of ambiguity as much. It connotes that, while you have no clue or opinion on the question being asked, you're also willing to say whatever it takes to get on the favourable side of the person asking the question. This

type of ambidextrous approach actually makes you sound erudite! don't ever under estimate the power of "depends." I did and look what happened in my internship, where they asked me if they should invest in a product or not, and instead of invoking this powerful ass-saver, I actually gave them my opinion and did not get the job.

9. The importance of free food in (literally) enriching your B-school experience:

As a starved B-school student, I admit to unintentionally attending lectures run by obscure clubs simply because of the free salad, pizza or burrito on offer. This is exactly how I became interested in the Net impact club and social entrepreneurship. Say what you will about the net impact club but they sure do have the classiest, freshest free food for all their events.

10 The importance of theme parties:

Before coming to the US, I solemnly swear that I had never ever been to a theme party. It was only after attending my first theme party - the 80s party, that I realized the social importance of dressing up in a weird costume and its correlation to making friends. Apparently, the more absurdly you dressed, the more friends you made or rather the more interesting you became to people. Case in point my second Halloween party. For this one, I truly embraced the ethos of

Halloween and dressed up as "Salad Dressing" - in a slinky black dress with vegetable cut-outs. I actually got asked out on a date at the party. SCORE!

11. The importance of having a high alcohol tolerance:

B-school literally is one big party with classes as interludes. True. This fact alone accounts for why other grad students don't really consider us to be truly grad students. We have smart phones, drive expensive cars, live in upscale apartments and drink copious amounts of alcohol. No tales of spending 4 sleepless nights in the library, just stories of cranberry vodka and lady gaga on repeat. Its very hard to not give in to the peer pressure and not party and drink. In term 4 of the last year, afternoon drinking and golfing became the norm, which accounts for why I got hit by golf balls when I ran on the trail surrounding the golf course.

and lastly,

12. The importance of owning a PC:

Yes, this is a shameless plug for my current employers but it is also the truth. Your life will be a living hell if Excel doesn't run on your laptop. So wisen up and use a PC!!

experimenting.. .

writing a post using a stylus tablet! This is seriously cool!!
I guess this will do what my mother couldn't. ...improve my handwriting!!

Its alright, alright...just dance, gonna be ok...

My social calendar, surprisingly, is filled with events every night. Surprising because, hullo, I just got here? So, this weekend, I met a girl friend from High school, whom I had not seen for 12 years. My change of location popped up on her FB feed and voila, we had a I-haven-seen-you-in-ages-but-I'm-so-excited-to-see-you!! date on Saturday. It was amazing and a lil bewildering to meet someone from home in Chicago of all places. Since we got on so swimmingly well, we decided to go bar hopping in Lincoln Park and went to this speak easy bar called "The Violet Hour." This bar was totally hush-hush and there was no sign or anything and we actually walked passed the door a couple of times, before a portal opened that sucked us into a weird, strange land. Very Alice in wonderland like, and yes, it even had Tall High-backed chairs. This place had magnificent drinks and both of us were chilling, awash in the glow of general goodness, when this Indian dude walked up to us with the strangest of requests.

He told us, he was hitching hiking is way from Seattle to New York and could we please point him towards NY? Now, I'm normally wary of weird guys but decided to give him a chance because he was a nerd and I'm sympathetic to the plight of nerds, being one myself. He told us (atleast that was his story) that he was tired of his work and just decided on a whim to Hitch hike (and risk getting killed). He seemed like a tortured soul, who one day woke up to find that his life was terribly out of track. More drama ensued that night but the thing I was stuck with, was evaluating if my own life was on track.

The answer to that is a resounding "No!" My life has never gone on expected lines from the age of 18 but my life has been more fun that I could ever fathom for myself. I never expected to be in Chicago after my MBA, I never expected to be in the US for my MBA, I never thought I'd study engineering, I never thought I'd never use my engineering..so yeah, my life has always taken unexpected turns simply because of my eagerness and willingness to do the unexpected.

It was Wimbledon Sunday yesterday and in my family it was always a tradition to turn on the TV at 6PM on Men's Final Sunday, with a tray of leftover Idlees and mint chutney. Oddly enough,I will always associate Idlees with Wimbledon Final. Yesterday, I just saw highlights and wondered how Wimbledon had ceased to be significant in my life? Or how college basketball mattered to me more? The milieu I was born into no longer existed or was rapidly fading and instead, I was in a milieu that I had created for myself. Isn't that awesome or is it?

In a reminder that there is always price to pay for living life on a whim, the ex called to tell me that he was getting engaged to somebody. We probably would have gotten hitched had I not decided to come to the US. While I was truly happy for him, I never thought I'd be single at 27. That depressed me for a while, till I realised what I had gained - new experience, tons of travel, new friends and a job that's got me excited to pins!

I've come to realize that, as long as I continue to be curious, as long as I continue to push the envelope and take risks, my life is never going to be "on track." It is never going to be "normal" but it sure as hell will be interesting. Amen to that!

of Pride, Craziness and Sheila's Youth

Chicago is turning out to be quite fun. My quick impression of this city after a mere 3 weeks is that it is unassuming, fun and beautiful. It is now my favourite city in the US..ok well both Seattle and Chicago and most amazingly, I'll be shuttling between these two fabulous cities quite often thanks to work! totally jazzed!

Now on to the fun part - The craziness that was yesterday. Right, it all began when K & D my two favourite people in Chicago, invited me to their pre-pride party. When I saw that the event started at 10 am, my eyebrows shot up. Yes, I went to B-school where drinking was a norm, but at 10am?? So on sunday morning, I overslept as usual, waking up just in time to shower, wash the hair and dress up in an orange polka-dot dress. The thing is, you can't go to party hosted by queens unless you're quite fashionably dressed. So by the time I reached their house it was 11 am and I was famished.

and there it was, spread out, the "Breakfast of Champions" or what it should consist of - Vodka lemonade, pita chips and potato salad. K &D, both amazing hosts, immediately made sure I had a cup in hand and was quickly introduced to whole new bunch of people - met some fellows MBAs at Ross and some their friends from the city. I LOVE meeting new people and listening to their personal stories. It has all the anticipation that comes with the beginning of a new chapter.

After being sufficiently "wined" up, off we went to watch the parade. I repeat, our original plan was to find a good spot on the pavement and WATCH the parade. But somehow, we became PART of the parade. The Human Rights float was head of us and behind us were a bunch of hot looking guys in pink leotards, dancing to lady gaga. As soon we realized that we were in the parade, it was like our inner Diva was unleashed. We went around giving Hi-fives to random people in the crowd, hugging people and kissing puppies. And the most amazing part was the cheering from the crowd. It was most incredible - to see the acceptance, the tolerance and the love for the LGBT folks in this city. This parade was not just a spectacle but a celebration of accepting people for who they are! made me love chicago twice over!

The parade was crazy long and by this time, I was truly buzzed and had lost all inhibition. Not hard when there was alcohol and an adoring crowd involved. I kind of realized why rockstars act the way they do. The feeling is truly heedy! Somebody in my group dared me to kiss a cop after I mentioned that they, the law enforcement officers manning the parade, looked all tense and grumpy. You know you've lost all sense of reason, when you run up to a cop and give him a massive hug. The first one, smiled and didn't seem to mind it and so bolstered, I kissed the next one right in the face. And that boys and girls, will be my achievement of the year. Some people get married, some make babies, I show affection for law enforcement. That's how much of a fan I am.

Anyway, we got off the parade due to sheer exhaustion and came back to base camp. When we got back to K &D's house, K started playing bollywood numbers and both of us started dancing to the sheer amusement of the others present in the room. After showing them what an "item number" is (thanks to Sheila and her youth), I decided to head back, make that stumble back home. Infact I was walking so slowly, that a random dude who passed by me, asked me if I was ok. I smiled and told him that I had the best day ever!

End of Dog Days

So three more weeks..three more weeks and this experiment, this mad,awesome journey of studying in a new country will come to an end. To tell you the truth, it hasn't quite hit me yet. More so because for the next three weeks atleast I'll continue seeing those familiar faces, I will go to dinner with these familiar faces, will argue with said familiar faces and rinse, repeat.

I still can't get over how my life has changed as a result of coming here. Can you wholly transform in two years? yes you can. But there is still time to reflect. Still time to write the nostalgic post. Meanwhile, there's a student life to be lived in these three weeks:

1.Dinner invites are being sent faster than the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and thats saying a lot. This bodes well because it fits in perfectly with my plans to finish my baking supplies, and make cupcakes to these potlucks. I had bought tons of baking supplies to bake cupcakes for the Durham Public Library when I was feeling particularly altruistic. However, the DPL punctured my gesture by telling me to shove it as they did not want to be liable for allergy reactions. Such is the world! so my fellow MBAs are lucky beneficiaries of my baking pursuits

2. Team meetings to attend: Fortunately both my teams this term are KICK ASS. We are mowing down work like a crazy efficient mad machine, team meetings are down to an hour and most importantly, nobody is harbouring murderous feelings against each other. Atleast that I know of!

3. Also being chased by several clubs and associations to part with my money. I get an email reminder and a phone call reminder everyday. So much so that, I've had to come up with elaborate evading manouvers that would impress a fighter pilot training for a dog fight. Yes I'm awesome like that.

4.Theme parties galore are also fighting with the above entities for my money.My stand has always been that where there is vodka, there goes my money. So you know, which team I'm batting for. Its also wonderfully gratifying to see EVERY club embrace the route of theme parties to raise funds and fleece me.

5. Dampening spirits like a wet blanket on a wet day are perpetual emails about graduation. With questions like "have you picked up parking passes" "have you picked up cap and gown" "have you picked up yourself" etc etc. Nooooooooo. I'm not ready to graduate. Yet! don't utter that bloody word!

6.Emails about graduations are followed by emails by professors on forthcoming exams and what we need to submit to graduate. Like a 24 page treatise on odd behaviour of people or on decision making and sex.Thats when it hits you. You are DONE writing Exams. You are ready to graduate!

7. All these emails makes you realize that IT is going to happen and the folks are going to come and accommodation needs to be readied. aaaaaaaaargh! so many things to do!

8.Then you look at yourself in the mirror and realize that serious weight needs to be lost and that the graduation pic is going to stay with you a long time and one really CANNOT be retaining water at the time. Exercise is in order but not diet.

9.Which me brings me back to all the dinner invites....

Its mad, its crazy..its like approaching the last 360 degree loop on a roller coaster before the ride ends.