Tales from the plains, planes and a little bit from the hills

well, now since i have a lot of time on my hands, beacuse of the injury lay off, the only thing that's keeping me going is arrested development, books and the my pet project, my travel blog. the most delicious feeling in the world is looking at those photographs and reminiscing and reliving the entire experience. more importantly reliving the entire experience when my mobility knew no bounds. sigh. well, heres are some of my notes and observations on travelling through north india. i lost all my notes at the Kashmir airport, as previously mentioned. but i managed to remember a few.

>>>> there are three classes on a plane in india. the business class, the economy class and those with seats near the toilet.

>>>> travel to the north during summer only if you are a sadomasochistic fool.

>>>> Delhi indulges in its tombs.

>>>> why would you travel in a bus called "Panicker"?

>>>> gult crowd fighting with punju bus driver, in hindi, ( over kaput A/C) is the funniest thing ever.

>>>> never support a gult crowd fighting with a punju bus driver, in hindi.

>>>> the aforementioned punju bus driver has the power to put you on another bus (with A/C) when the A/C fails just to spite the aforementioned gult crowd.

>>>> beware of taxidrivers with streaked hair, they might take you for an another ride altogether.

>>>> Bhakra Nangal damn makes your chest swell with patriotic pride, till you read that the Brits initiated the project and us guys only "completed" it.

>>>> where there is water, there are hippies.

>>>> where there are hippies, theres no point shopping.

>>>> don't venture eating israeli food in a place called "Hotel Parampara"

>>>> fields of lavender anyday.

>>>> mountain air these days consists of diesel fumes, smell of roasted bhutta and wails of a petulant two year olds.

>>>> statutory warning that should be present on all touristy snow capped mountains : Beware of Horse shit.

>>>> avoid public hotsprings, unless you're into flabby nude people.

>>>> 15 hour bus journey in treacherous terrain on a bus with no suspension can bring about a spiritual change

>>>> there is a coffe day 4km into the climb to vaishno devi. (???????)

>>>> a 3 sec darshan after a 12 km climb. someone doesn't like you.

>>>> border road organisation rocks!!!!. favourite signs include, "Be gentle on my curves" and
" If you are married to speed, divorce her!".

>>>> what is "100% pure vegetarian" food?.

>>>> kashmir is beautiful, but don't follow an army convoy, chances are, it will get blown up.

>>>> and if it does get blown up, nobody cares.

>>>> kashmiri pulao will make you want to have "100% pure vegetarian" food.

>>>> snow fights are fun!!!!

>>>> they grope you a LOT at kashmir airport and its all legal.

>>>> Sahara is the worst airline, and Kingfisher air serves chocolate mousse.

>>>> if you ever ask a mumbai cop for "Sundance restuarant" chances are he'll point you to a nearby toilet.

>>>> colaba cause way is a riot of colours.

>>>> i love mumbai.

and since pictures speak louder than words, heres my travel blog. i've yet to blog about vaishno devi, kashmir and mumbai. i'll do that soon. and if anybody wants any information about travel in these cities, feel free to contact me.

lonely planet, here i come.

The rain in spain falls mainly in the plain

commiserations to my fellow mumbaikers about the rains. or should that be bombayites?. gujju today, told me that calling a bombayite, a mumbaiker is the ultimate affront. ok i'll compromise, how about mumbaiiytes? (bombayker doesn't cut it, even i know that!!)

My dad who's an out and out bombayite ( i'll bow to gujju's demands, after all, the poor chap waded in squelchy water for 5 hours before reaching home) told me, to my surprise, that the media was sensationalizing the entire issue and that most bombayites were rather enjoying the whole ordeal, secretly atleast. how could they?. how could anyone enjoy wading in knee deep water, that wet miserable feeling under gloomy ominous skies?. i told my dad that it was impossible to be even cheery under the circumstances, so the idea of enjoying it is plain daft. but then he looked at me as if he couldn't understand why it wasn't apparent to me. " its a part of their lives" he said, " it happens every year, and as with most things, they take this in their stride"

i love bombayites. i really do. they are so tough and i feel like a spineless wimp infront of them. they make me feel small and puny and without no guts whatsoever. very very few people make me feel that way, but i'm always overwhelmed by a bombayite in bombay. i call it the local train sassiness. most of them have spent a significant portion of their lives travelling by local train, and i still can't postulate how, but i'm sure there is a correlation between local trains, chaalooness and zero slouch tolerence. everyone i know in mumbai, works so hard, the city brings about such a ferver in one, that its unthinkable to rest even for a second. thats why holidaying in mumbai was a bizarre experience. i got stuck in Dadar station, waiting to rendezvous with my bro, and all around me, people were moving about with a purposeful worker frenzy, as if there was no time to be lost, and the trains zipped by barely stopping for a few seconds, and i felt i had transgressed just by standing there purposeless.

oh, i'm sure, you guys will get through this, you guys are tough bastards. and god bless you for that.

"How many boards would the Mongols hoard, if the Mongol hordes got bored?"

...............and since i have nothing worthy to blog about, except perhaps that i'm now in a position to rate every reality T.V show ever made and that desperate housewives is way over rated, i shall proceed to demonstrate my proclivity for ink on paper, only because he forced me to do so.

i sound so smug.


Total number of books I own:

hmmm, there are about 4000 books in my house and only 800 of them are fiction and own 500 in that. on an unrelated thought, my mum wrote a book called " fruits and their medicinal properties", and you should know that darker the colour of the fruit the better for you. anti-oxidants are good for you baby!.

Last book(s) I bought:

The hours by Michael Cunningham : well, because he's the mentor of Manil Suri, who's absolutely *Hawt*

Farewell waltz by milind kundera : to reinforce my lit exhibitionism

HP6-HBP : I'm going to stick to the tacky abbreviation.


Last book(s) I read:

HP6-HBP : The less said the better.

Breakfast of champions: this one by kurt vonnegut jr. is stellar. this one just laughs in your face and asks "why do you take yourself so seriously?".


Five books that mean a lot to me:
hmmm,

the folk of the faraway tree( Enid Blyton): this was where the journey began, i shudder to think what would have happened to me if this book was hideous read. i love it still. i also love the the find outers and the malory towers series, aah some of my finest afternoons came from these books.

To kill a mockingbird (Harper lee) : purely for atticus finch.

one hundred years of solitude (Gabriel garcia marquez): solely for the departure from tedious reality and ofcourse, who can forget the levitating priest?

The Complete works of Oscar Wilde : i read this one, right before i entered college, when i was goin through a pretty rough time. oh my god, he made me laugh and cheeky!

Death comes as the End (Agatha christie) : probably her finest mystery ever, and oh the protagonist is my idea of the perfect man.

What am i reading now?

Haroun and the sea of stories (Salman Rushdie)

oh btw, i have 1000 bucks worth of coupons from premier book store, any suggestions for what i should buy?

Books i could not finish:

Anna karenina, Dr. zhivago and Crime and punishment, why? why? can't i ever finish a book by a russian author. someone please help me, i really really want to finish Crime and punishment.

Hyped beyond belief

the fountain head (ayn rand) and The hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy (Douglas Adams), I'm not elucidating further, i got thrown out of a bookshop for dissing howard roark. sigh!

ok, people who are reading this, i'm not tagging anybody because i'm sure they've been already tagged. and oh, please help me with the 1000 bucks.

where'd all the good people go?

i'm not exactly ecstatic. there's cause for much bitterness.

My pre-ordered copy of half blood prince hasn't arrived and the internet is rife with spoilers

i'm walking like a penguin without support. oomph and riding, what the hell was i thinking?? (hey that rhymes!)

all the guys i fall for, go abroad in 6-18 months. why on earth am i not going abroad??

but i'm not overtly depressed either

i've been listening to jack johnson's in between dreams, and its stellar, i love it

i've also been reading breakfast of champions by Kurt Vonnegut jr, which is utterly cynical and funny. the other day when i was out at a traffic stop, watching the ensuing traffic chaos, i thought to myself, "why are these people hurrying, almost killing each other to reach their destinations? don't they know their lives absolutely don't matter".thats such a typical kurt thought. he's helping me become indifferent

and i found this on guardian today, they ran a dumbledore's death scene contest, where folks have to write in imitating another author's style. this one was hilarious.

when was the last time you did something for the first time?- Contd.

Yeah so that was the scan and the prognosis was weren't very good. See what happened was, about a year back, March 22 2004 to be precise i had a bad fall from the scooter, and I have decided to come clean about it. It was my fault. totally. really tired and guilty about blaming it on the "vehicle in front". I tried to ride with some oomph and unfortunately there was a bad patch of sand and since oomph and sand, never ever go well, i skidded and fell. This happened right outside college and I'm really really lucky that the RV bus didn't run me over. That fall busted my knee, which saw me go to the lecherous Knee doctor for diagnosis ( Ofcourse i didn't know he was lecherous when i first went to him. Just clarifying). He said it was a knee sprain and suggested physiotherapy exercise and hot water packs. It seemed to heal and i began to walk and everything seemed fine, but whenever i attempted serious sport, it buckled. I was unable to run etc and things came to a head at Vaishno Devi, where even my parents could descend better than me. My knee completely gave away. After i came back, i went to an orthopaedic surgeon who suggested i take an MRI. when he saw the scan results, he said it was a ligament tear and the only way out of it was Surgery.

it's probably one of the scariest words in the language. you go numb on hearing that. You don't want to do it, but you have to do it. so my surgery got scheduled on the 2nd. i don't know why, but before surgery you apparently needed to starve, so what if they say " you can't eat anything"?, deprivation is deprivation. my surgery was scheduled at 4 pm, so i starved. then one of the docs came into the room and asked me to sign a bunch of papers basically stating that if something should go wrong, I'll not hold the hospital responsible. very sweet. and then the doc asked me " what kind of anaesthesia do you want?". what can i say, I'm a surgery virgin, i had no clue as to what he was talking about. so i said "I dunno". " Do you want the safer one?", he asked, trying to help me make my decision. I wish i had the wonderful ability to raise my eyebrow, which would signify, major alarm, disgust and mortification all at the same time. but I don't. so i said, " the safest" in what i thought was a stern voice. " No, no, no" he protested, " All the methods are safe only", and then he sat down and proceeded to explain the various types of anaesthesia on offer.

type one: spinal anaesthesia, where an anaesthetic injection is given to the spine and the body below the waist becomes numb. type two: nasal anaesthetia, where tubes are inserted into the nose, where an anaesthetic gas is sent in and the entire body is anaesthetized. Type 3 : natural anaesthetia, where the patient awaiting surgery faints upon hearing of spinal taps and nasal tubes.

when i got finally wheeled in to the OT, the anaestheologist asked me if i was nervous. i said i was ravenous, which he somehow heard as "nervous", said that i should not worry as all the doctors were "Top doctors". but how does one know? with their masks, it could be anybody. and then to distract me from the spinal tap, he asked me my name. they didn't even know my name!!!. and since i have a quick thinking brain, i also assumed they hadn't read my case file, did they even know it was my knee they had to operate on? did they ? did they?, so without any context i blurted " It's my right knee doctor, the right knee". if they were startled, i couldn't see with those masks and i couldn't care less. i didn't want these jimmies to open my heart out.

Anaesthesia is a very trippy experience,theres a electrical discharge which feels wonderfully weird and then the whole area goes numb and heavy. i couldn't feel my legs at all. then the obviously loquasious ana..gist asked my bio data, which college?, what degree ? yada yada and then proceeded to give me some sound career advice. thats was it really, i didn't want to be awake while this man bugged me and told me i was wasting my degree, i asked to be sedated.oh, i also mentioned i was mangalorean, which went down very well with three of the doctors, they told me that i really needn't worry now since i was mangy and all, they promised to take extra care. before i passed out, i muttered "right knee" one last time and my last thought before succumbing to sleep was the plight of poor non mangy folks.

sometime during the fag end of the surgery, i woke up and though i was still feeling very groggy and drugged, i could hear the docs talking. they are such blabbermouths. the air was thick with gossip. they were talking about this doc kiran who was apparently parting ways with this hospital, Sagar, or was it the other way around?. well anyway, they were speculating as to whether kiran/sagar was actually fired from kiran/sagar and if this guy was stuffing everybody about quitting. then i heard a drill , some more about the plight of kiran/sagar and then drill again. i wanted to shush them. i wanted to shout, " shutup! you pikeys!! thats my knee you are messing with!!". thankfully, the surgery ended soon after that, and one of the docs made a joke in tulu, which was really funny, so i came out of the OT laughing. probably the only person to do so.
which is a great sign, alive, kicking and happy.

when was the last time you did something for the first time?

me?

umm 30th july when the buggers sent me through an MRI scanning machine.now godforbid, you ever need to pass through this machine, but it needs to come with a warning. in English!!. right so what eis this MRI machine? its like a giant tube where you are sent in and scanned, right down to those carpuscles, simple enough. but right before i was sent in, the operator put a couple of headphones on my ears, "you'll need this", he said. "You'll hear a couple of sounds, don't be scared". they should never give innocuous warnings. leaves you completely unprepared. so once i was in, the machine started and after 10 seconds sent a barrage of mettalic sound for the next half hour. the sequence?
drilling, firing from a machine gun by a person essentially bad at shooting, egg beater, nail-on-a-blackboard, refrigerator gone bad, drilling, this time probably a pavement, more machine gun firing, and then finally "red alert" sound. if you're a star trek fan you'll know this. its the sound that comes on when the enterprise goes on "Red Alert", rather like an ambulance.
My thoughts on the MRI machine, allthough they gave the guys who created this the Nobel, it could also find dual purpose as a torchure machine.
i wonder if they've used this in guantanamo bay.