Where I wonder why I'm not punjabee

Whenever I see Hindi movies these days, this is the one thought that strikes me - Why am I not punjabee?? Clearly it seems to be the most fun ethnic group around. I see them on screen and wonder why my life isn't like theirs. Why there aren't as many weddings in my family as there seems to be in an average punjabee family. Hell they even have humongous families. What is that punjabees do? multiply like rabbits?? and how, I wonder, do these humongous families manage to sing and dance in perfect synchrony and celebrate the business of holy matrimony? It almost seems like they've all been trained in this matter. I see punjabee weddings and wish that weddings were an olympic sport. I look at them and sigh deeply that I will never see my sombre south Indian family going "shava shava" and I really want "shava shava" although I think its in everybody's interest that south indians not do "shava shava"

Another thing about punjabees is the well endowed-ness. The whole carefree- stress free-I'm-Karan Alhuwalia-I-don't-have-to-work thing. how is it that they never have to work? how is it that they never have worry about appraisals and review? why is it that they have rich daddies? These punjabee daddies are a confusing lot if you ask me. They send their daughters on europe trips (favourite haunt being switzerland) and allow them to spend obscene amounts of money and then act all funny and conservative and start arranging marriages. What sort of twisted logic is that?? although to be fair, most of these punjabee daddies are closet softies and will certainly do the trade mark about turn and agree to the daughter marrying her chosen punjabee, sweet talking, good dancer type, chikna lover.

So I'm thinking, why not me. I want daddy to send me on europe trip too and have a romance on eurail and miss my train and fall in love. I want to have the certainty of knowing that just because I'm punjabee, I'm guaranteed a saccharine life. I want to psuedo rebel against my parents and then sing and dance and make up with them. I want nephews who are called bunty and chintoo and who have little beanies on their head. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I'm guaranteed a life time time supply of butter chicken and sarson ka saag. I want to be assured of having the confidence to break into a ditty number in the middle mall and have everybody around me dance and telepathically know the song too. I want to know that I can shop at Christian Dior's outlet in St.Troprez because being punjabee means never having to worry about that little thing called money.

So clearly, as I have outlined, being punjabee is the ticket to good life and if any punjabee family, preferabbly one owning manufacturing facilities in Jalandhar and Hoshiarpur, wants to adopt, please pick MEEE!