There's no sunshine when its gone

Let me be absolutely honest and say that when it comes to cricket, I'm not the most ardent Indian cricket fan one could hope to find. I don't remember memorable match plays, I don't obsess over our victories or losses, hell I'm not even up to speed with the composition of the Indian team sometimes. But, whatever, my level of affiliation, Cricket has always been a part of my life - it was for the past 26 years atleast - through its ubiquitous presence on TVs, Newspapers and Dinner table discussions.

It was hard to be oblivious to it because I had an older brother who was absolutely obsessed with it. So obsessed that I think he secretly harboured notions of being a cricketer one day. Well, not so secret because my brother actually played cricket inside the house and how he managed not to break anything, or send the food tray flying, still makes me wonder. Given this, I had no choice but to give in and let our TV be dominated by Cricket. And gradually, I found myself actually watching Cricket -out of my own volition.

My first memory of cricket, or rather my favourite first memory of cricket was the 1992 World cup in Australia & New Zealand. The cricket stadiums were picturesque and breadthtaking, while the cricket threw up some outlandish surprises -like New Zealand topping the league.I still remember my father's wonder in NZ looking invincible. "They have more sheep" he said. South Africa, coming back into the international arena looked like the only formidable opposition to NZ and there were loud murmurs of our own boy wonder -Sachin Tendulkar. He was a phenomenon no more, but the anointed son who would save Indian Cricket. Anybody who could stand up to Merv Hughes and his ilk was surely, that? When I look back, I think the 1992 world cup was instrumental in burgeoning my love for cricket. It showed me the power of the under dog (insert Pak reference here), the perils of being cocky (Australia as always), the vagaries of chance (Duckworth -Lewis system) and the heartbreak of defeat (South Africa's loss in the Semis). I think that world cup reeled me into the world of Cricket for good.

I sort of consider myself lucky that I saw India's ascendancy in cricket while I was growing up and that I got to see Sachin Tendulkar's career. On hindsight, they both are highly co-related methinks. For me atleast, the glory years of Indian cricket were from 1996 - 2005. Well, 2005 was the year I graduated college and the last year I followed cricket doggedly. I remember the 1996 world cup hosted my India vividly. Expectations were higher than the 1992 world cup and after we defeated Pakistan in Bangalore, thanks to Venkatesh Prasad's epic dimissal of Aamir Sohail, all of us were sure that we were going to clinch it. In school (my conservative methodist all girls school), they even started broadcasting the cricket commentary over the intercom!! such was the mania. Sadly, we lost, uncomprehendingly, to Sri Lanka, the eventual winners. That for me was the beginning of Indian Cricket's See-Saw era. The team would give us giddying wins and immediately, with the next match infact, plunge us into despair with soul shattering losses. The words "inconsistent" and "lack of killer instinct" got bandied about regularly.

My favourite cricket memory is undoubtedly the 1999 world cup and the India Vs Sri Lanka match. That day is etched in my memory because two new gems, Dravid and Ganguly, schooled Sri Lanka and my board exam results were also announced on the same day. I couldn't veer myself away from the TV to even see how I did in what I thought were my seminal exams. I actually asked a friend to see my results at school. She didn't get back to me and so I had to, ask the brother to drive me to school. He cursed me and the school board for taking him away from that brilliant match play. He didn't forgive me even when he became the brother of the school topper. He still cursed me. That day was a great day.

As an Indian cricket fan, you got used to the dizzying heights and the abysmal lows. You became a tempered soul that never rejoiced too much, like when they won the Natwest Trophy against England. You knew that it wouldn't be long before they lost to lowly Bangladesh. You became one who could meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same.This also became your philosophical point of view. It did become mine. I never got too excited by my own personal successes and not too disappointed by my failures. When the team lost several series in succession, you learned to have faith and believe and were rewarded with an outstanding series win. The Indian team showed you that to have a heart was also a great thing. I can remember so many innings were there was a lone Indian batsman who showed heart and stood up to wild inswinging bowling while his team collapsed around him. Being an Indian cricket fan taught you valuable life lessons. It taught you the value of patience, of lessons in failure, of not being swayed by success, of celebrating little things like glorious stroke play and not being focused on the result itself.

I can't remember when exactly, but gradually Indian cricket started weaning itself away from Sachin Tendulkar and the Fab Four. I remember feeling a twinge of sadness when India started winning matches without a significant contribution from Sachin. The infusion of the younger brigade made the Indian team a lot more resilient and hardy. Cricket also became incredibly commercialized. The tours became numerous and the formats became confusing. That monstrosity called T20 made its presence and for me it became cricket overdose.Thats when I exited out of viewing cricket but not following it.

Inexplicably, my favourite format is the Test format of cricket. I love test matches more than anything and I find it annoying when people ask me how a game could last for 5 days. Test match for me is the epitome of cricket and incorporates strategy, patience and sublime technique. Its the unhurried version. A version where you'll see the purest of pure cover drives, one that might come 2 hours into an innings but will be totally worth the wait. I mentally ready my Decembers to be inundated with Test cricket. I always look forward to test cricket in Australia as the year end treat. Nothing compares to watching a test match played on lush green outfields, in brilliant sunny weather and with raucous fans with the most outrageous banners/signs. An overseas Indian test match victory for me is more memorable than ODI victories because a test match match victory is hard earned, more laboured and less subject to vagaries of chance.

I will never forget our Test match victory against Australia in Perth. in PERTH. I remember jumping in glee when we won because we had done it. Broken our overseas jinx and achieved a win at Perth, the bounciest mofo of a pitch. I remember how commentators analyzed and dissected the victory, I read reams written about the victory, saw TV debates on whether that was the greatest Cricket team India had ever produced and I remember my brother's excited voice. The rest of the tour was bloody brilliant too. We won the ODI series and defeated Australia in Australia.

Being in the US, I miss cricket. I miss not finding it on my TV as I channel surf, I miss post-match analysis and even, dare I say it, the excited-flawed commentary of Charu Sharma. I hate reading live match plays on websites and imagining what the shot might have been. Most of all I miss watching it with my family. How I'd pace like a restless animal when a match got tense, while my brother and Dad watched with searing concentration. My mother, an ardent fan too, would talk annoyingly and give her take on what the team should do next. The three of us, my brother, Dad and I, would catch each other's eye and have the same thought -If they made Mom the coach of the Indian cricket, that would indeed be the day.

After India's spectacular win in Durban yesterday, missing these Cricket moments makes me realize that not being able to watch cricket is a form of home sickness too. Sad that.