War without the guns

Too too excited to write something new. Have been gripped by the usual nerves before such a cricket match. Actually hate cricket when it gets like this...sooo intense, so rivalrous and so much more than winning and losing. and it had to happen in the World Cup.

On an aside, I guess I'm too much of a sports fanatic. Sports and my team's outcome really matter to me. Duke crashed out of the NCAA basket ball tournament in the sweet sixteen round and for days after that I was in mourning. Still am. Still can't get over the shock loss..

ok..no more negative thoughts. On a positive note, the awesome aspect of matches such as these is that you know that your life will never be the same after such a match. The memory will stay with you. Whether it be a brilliant innings or a dropped catch, you will remember how it played out and where you were when things unfolded. Yes, regardless, its a special moment in time. And that indeed, is the beauty of sport.

Writing Project

Inspired by a friend who took upon herself to write something every day for 100 days, I'm embarking on a similar such mission, albeit, for a modest 30 days. I figure I'll be busier than busy in May with graduation and other formalities and so the reduced target.

But why the project in the first place? Because I need it to spark the creative part of my brain. I love creative writing. wait. make that loved. In school, we were asked to write essays on arbitrary topics, I remember salivating with glee, at the thought of conjuring up new worlds, situations and people. There was nothing more exhilarating than letting the imagination run wild. so much fun! But as my analytical side started to dominate due to engineering undergrad and work, I found my creative instincts starting to rust. And there it continued to languish, where now, I find myself dreading at the very thought of..you know..creating something. Where once I could conjure up a short story in a matter of minutes, now I can't even get myself to write a paragraph. So I need this project. to re-ignite my stunted creative side. The ultimate hope is that the constant writing will not only improve my ability to write but also make me comfortable once more in letting my imagination run.

On an aside though, notice my cop out in meeting today's writing ..ahem.. "Target." Instead of ravishing my 5 readers with fancy prose, I gave you a long winded explanation that is neither creative nor funny. so you see why I need to write more?

The Final Countdown

Here,I am, in the final leg of this 2 year journey called B-school. Only 5 more weeks to go before I graduate and I find myself in the "real" world. I want to say its been so much fun, yada yada but oddly enough B-school has made me more circumspect and (dare I say it) mature, to be able to be trite.

I can't quite put my finger on what within has changed but something in my core has changed. I have had lots of experiences that have shaped my experiences but very rarely have these profoundly impacted my core. But B-school did and so my ambivalence towards the whole thing.

I did give up a lot to be here. My life in my country, my family, my love and my friends. But,on the other hand, I also received a lot - new experiences, new friends, travel..erm "Business Acumen." At the end, I feel like recipient of a zero sum game. A game that extracts a lot of you but oddly enough leaves you richer because of the very extraction. Like what a person finishing a Marathon might feel like, I suppose. Every mile of the Marathon is more painful than the previous one, but on reaching the finish line, there is no trace of the pain. Only a magnanimous sense of achievement and relief.

B-school for me was not all sunshine for me primarily because it caused me to ask myself a series of uncomfortable, existential type questions. And more importantly I opened myself to these questions. Like, "what do I stand for?" or "Should I compromise and aim at getting any job or do go after what I'm passionate about?" and ofcourse, the piece de resistance of all existential quandries, "What AM I passionate about in the first place?"

I knew B-school was going to be the place where I re-calibrated myself. Not many people get the opportunity to do that and so I went about it with a rare resolve. I used these two years to find myself - what my beliefs were, what my passions were and where I wanted to be. I took risks and countless leaps of faith. I stumbled many times, but learned to raise myself up and walk again. I learned what it was like to stare at an abyss and even walked down a depressive spiral or two. I learned about people and how I deal with people. Finally, I learned my personal boundaries - what I would and would not do.

So If you ask me if it was "Fun." I'd say, probably not the best word to describe it. too trite. Now "Metamorphosis" now, that has a great ring to it. I literally feel different from the Me of two years ago. I don't know what changed but something did, at a very profound level.

So,was it worth it then? since we're all in the business (pardon the pun) of cost-benefit analysis and the like, I have only one answer. And I have no ambiguity in answering this.

HELL YEAH!

When the sun un-hides

Dark clouds cause rain,
Dark clouds are tough and when it smothers you,
It forces you to wallow in the pain
Dark clouds are bereft of soul
Dark clouds are dark and when you can’t see,
the darkness seems cruel
Dark clouds kill hope
Dark clouds are dense and when it strangles your heart,
it feels like you can’t cope
Dark clouds are angry,
Dark clouds are fiery and when it thunders,
all you want to do is bury
But it is also true that dark clouds don’t last forever